So I walked under a bus
I got hit by a train
Keep falling in love
Which is kinda the same
I've sunk out at sea
Crashed my car, gone insane
And it felt so good
I want to do it again
- Bachelor Girl
i wouldn't be surprised if i go into a state of depression...
my head's reeling from everything. sometimes i even feel my heart drop. it may just be a sensation, but it feels like my heart is literally dropping.. and then it shatters. my head feels like it's ready to explode, all my brain matter pushing against the inner walls of my skull, applying pressure, ready to crack it apart and ooze out and spill over onto the wooden floor of my room.
i gaze out into nothing and wonder how much there is...
i'm physically and emotionally injured, stressed, stretched... everything will go numb one day.. sooner or later. sometimes i wish sooner. it might hurt less. to see everything pass you by, but not feeling a thing. to live a life that was never meant to be, but was to be, because of the choices i made, or the choices others made for me.
i will never truly understand...
the concept of friendship is dumbfounding. the thought that you might trust someone with everything you have, only to find everything you have, non-existent. the thought that people, yes, people, might be the destruction of their very kind, due to the inability to do one single action. to be real friends. not saying that friends do not exist, but then again the definition of friendship has been twisted and warped into something completely different, that is difficult to fully comprehend it anymore.
it is better to be alone...
is it really better to be alone? is it something that will make one better or worse or does it make a difference at all. to be alone.. is to live in solitude, isolation. never needing to depend on anyone, yet not being entirely independent either. it is entirely confusing and nonsensical.
i'm in a bad state of mind...
what iAMY has to sing, has been heard.
BUT.
somewhat like my limb,
something else is bruised worse.
it's cut, it's bleeding, it's seeping...
into the floorboards, to haunt my memory.
the stains of the rain, the tears, the pain.
don't notice, don't mention, don't hear the cries.
everything's spreading, it's getting so deep.
what a bloody mess...
what iAMY has to sing, has been heard.
confusion, delusion, what is real.
define the illusion you've made.
that i might once again live.
live the life i deprived myself.
what more is there to see,
i've blinded myself with insanity.
what now...
what iAMY has to sing, has been heard.
how you could have done this to me,
i'll never know.
i feel like i've been torn from limb to limb.
unable to move, it's so numb.
victim of reality, nothing matters more.
it's all gone, it's never coming back...
you've hurt me so bad...
what iAMY has to sing, has been heard.
this was when were trying to go to town, but ended up going to harbourfront instead. (wrong bus) -.- so, we took the mrt to town instead, after wasting like an hour. haha. we're so brilliant.
from left to right: zhong khoo, sharon, natalie.
jieli and daryl, our 2 scouts, though i can't say much for their sense of direction. especially daryl. LOL. sorry!
MYRON!! OUR ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL OGL.. well, one of the 3 absolutely wonderful ogls of PANDORA anyway. haha. jithra and mae yan couldn't make it, so.. oh well. the ironic part is that jit planned the outing. lol.
this'd be the neoprint that the girls really wanted to take, and so the rest of us had to oblige. haha. clockwise from far left bottom: Jia Ying, Zhong Khoo, Jieli, Daryl, Myron, me, Natalie, Sharon, Ying Wei.
all right, that's all for now. i really love my og. haha. acjc's been real awesome and stuff, i might just stay there. heexz. other missing members include: LYNN, LI MING, MICHELLE, QIAN LEI, REN KIAT, JIN-E, JAESH, SAMANTHA and JEREMY.
what iAMY has to sing, has been heard.
Went home to the Lord on the 13th of January
Although we went to the same church, we were never really very close nor did we talk to each other often, and it's possibly something i now regret. However, now's not the time for regrets, but a time to remember the encouragements he gave, the feats he accomplished and obstacles he overcame. To remember the kind of person he was, the inspiration and motivation he gave others and what he left behind, everlasting memories.
Suffering from cancer, he still managed to live life to the fullest. Doctors gave him only about a year to live, he lived thrice as long. He refused to sit about and feel sorry for himself. Instead, he went bungee jumping, rock climbing and a lot of other activities i can bet almost all of us have not even thought of attempting.
In church, he would always be smiling and prancing around, talking to people. He was the best drummer there!
Now he's gone, but i can confidently say that he has touched the lives of many, and few of us will actually be able to live a life as fulfilling as his. We will miss him.
Kelvin's wake will be tonight at 8pm at the Garden Of Remembrance.
what iAMY has to sing, has been heard.
ming and cyn having a sentimental moment in ikea.
a JJEMKSS photo without the MK.. so...that'd be JJESS?? yeh.. i guess so..
mikh and i. yay. i got to wear the big green hat. not my colour, but nice green hat none the less. one of the many things we got kate.
josh, cyn and mikh, and a very very very very very very long escalator at changi airport.
kate, ming and cyn at belt 6, don't they look pretty.
an actual JJEMKSS photo.. the only one of its kind.. for now. til kate gets back.. sigh...
all right. that's all i have for now, next time, i'll post up the hong kong/hainan trip photos... if i feel like it. MUAHAHA.
what iAMY has to sing, has been heard.