So I walked under a bus
I got hit by a train
Keep falling in love
Which is kinda the same
I've sunk out at sea
Crashed my car, gone insane
And it felt so good
I want to do it again
- Bachelor Girl
i wouldn't be surprised if i go into a state of depression...
my head's reeling from everything. sometimes i even feel my heart drop. it may just be a sensation, but it feels like my heart is literally dropping.. and then it shatters. my head feels like it's ready to explode, all my brain matter pushing against the inner walls of my skull, applying pressure, ready to crack it apart and ooze out and spill over onto the wooden floor of my room.
i gaze out into nothing and wonder how much there is...
i'm physically and emotionally injured, stressed, stretched... everything will go numb one day.. sooner or later. sometimes i wish sooner. it might hurt less. to see everything pass you by, but not feeling a thing. to live a life that was never meant to be, but was to be, because of the choices i made, or the choices others made for me.
i will never truly understand...
the concept of friendship is dumbfounding. the thought that you might trust someone with everything you have, only to find everything you have, non-existent. the thought that people, yes, people, might be the destruction of their very kind, due to the inability to do one single action. to be real friends. not saying that friends do not exist, but then again the definition of friendship has been twisted and warped into something completely different, that is difficult to fully comprehend it anymore.
it is better to be alone...
is it really better to be alone? is it something that will make one better or worse or does it make a difference at all. to be alone.. is to live in solitude, isolation. never needing to depend on anyone, yet not being entirely independent either. it is entirely confusing and nonsensical.
i'm in a bad state of mind...
what iAMY has to sing, has been heard.