in my own little world.

Out in town with Ho and Chen

2007-06-30T23:16:00.000-07:00

Ah.. today wasn't a great day.. between 4.30pm and 7.30pm
i went to Pete's Place at the Hyatt with my mum for the pasta buffet lunch.. their Tiramisu was to die for. Then we went shopping at FCUK and Levis. i bought 2 pairs of jeans.. like..wicked shit. haha. those 3 hours sucked.. 'cause my parents and i had this huge fight. mainly my dad and i. we're usually at loggerheads with one another. it's nuts.

anyway, after training i met Samuel at Wisma and we bummed around the building for a good hour 'cause Andrew was late. HA. $18 for a cab ride. he was whining about it.. very amusing. haha. somehow or other, we ended up at Wheelock, due to a misunderstanding that we wanted to eat. Samuel and I didn't wanna eat, we thought Andrew wanted to eat, and he didn't wanna eat but thought we wanted to eat. So the result was talking shit and gossip at coffee bean for another hour or slightly under. Andrew treated us to coffee thanks to his brilliant 75 card. he has found his purpose in life. haha. thanks guys. it' was really fun bumming around. yeh...
oh oh, and then.. Andrew and i had the funniest, ****ing amusing time on the mrt. friggin funny. we laughed all the way from orchard to newton.. and then we laughed from newton to the taxi stand, and then we laughed til the taxi came. talk about ab formation. hahahahahaha. like under frozen jelly right? anyway... fun stuff

then the shit started again, from 9.30pm - 10.30pm. my parents "forgot" to pick me up
'cause they're not talking to each other. so.. i stood at the taxi stand waiting for 45 min before someone came. -.- it was the longest 20 min ride of my life so far.
ahhhh well. thanks to Andrew for talking to me for a good 20 min on the phone to keep me entertained. knock and barge right?

quite sleepy now. but i shall wait for someone to finish playing mah-jong. haha. i'm hungry.

Social Night

2007-06-20T15:15:00.000-07:00

last night was social nighttt. it was quite enjoyable, met a lot of his friends and saw some old friendly faces. haha. food was decent yea, and the "games" or rather, mini contests were really lame but extremely funny at the same time. anyway, here's our table... lots of AC folks.

1st row: Thea, Yuwei
2nd row (left to right): Kerry, his cousin, Clarence, Beverly, Krish, me, Johnston, his date.

Kaisin and I. SMIILLLEEEEE.

andd...
to: My Drop Dead Gorgeous Hunk of a Date.

"i love you too."

so yeh.. that's some photos. thanks Justin for lending me your camera.

2007-06-05T22:12:00.000-07:00

PREPIX STREETJAM 2005
THE TEAM FROM KOREA.

Oh my *(^%#$#!@#^%(*&)(_)(_ goodness gracious me. this is some good s***. i'm even swearing. ah. 4 hot gys who can actually dance really well. where have they been.
i know i've shown some of you this video, but for those i didn't manage to infect, here it is. the crowd's oo-ing's a bit annoying and so's the cameraman, but focus on the dance people, and the music too (yes vee, the music, i mentioned it)

What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts

2007-06-05T13:37:00.000-07:00

i love this video. i just love it. falls alongside Chris Daughtry's It's Not Over.

What Hurts the Most - Rascal Flatts

i bet you cried.

is this how we perceive beauty?

2007-06-02T17:53:00.000-07:00

is this how we perceive it all?

warped? ...i think so.

the canvas of my mind.

2007-06-02T16:43:00.000-07:00

no more. just no more.

blank like the white washed walls.
a canvas fit for some painting.
but you just stare at it. where to start?

when your brush touches it,
with murky water from your container.
with each stroke you ruin it.

so much for that,
next canvas please.

what happens when you run out of canvases?
mmm...

photographs show importance.

2007-06-01T18:07:00.000-07:00

"look at these photographs,
everytime i do, it makes me laugh..."

'cause it took me so long to realise, i was never in them.

looking at photographs, makes you realise how important you are to people.

2 words: not very.

...i tire of this.

i'm on a roll.

2007-05-30T02:18:00.000-07:00

You're an Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity
You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off
And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave
When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, thanks Hanief, now that's quite funny. i've perfected my kissing technique eh? LOL. for those who take the test, let me know how it goes. i'll probably just die laughing knowing some of you, coughjustincough.

smoochies.

Your Taste in Music:

Adult Alternative: Highest Influence

R&B: High Influence90's

Alternative: Medium Influence

90's Hip Hop: Medium Influence

90's R&B: Medium Influence

How's" Your Taste in Music?

this is in a weird way...really weird way.. quite fun. so..primary-lower secondary kinda old school shit. the last time i remember taking "test"s like these... was back in sec 1?

choir concert

2007-05-29T10:52:00.000-07:00

choir concert was last night.

i still think my favourite has got to be ANIMA CHRISTI. ah, heavenly. certain songs made me feel a wee bit squirmish. not so much that they were pitchy or offbeat, cause that rarely happened. it was more the " i think they're out of their comfort zone. " sort of feeling. some songs felt too reserved, held back, not quite the right genre. anyway, i enjoyed myself. surprised Jerome (he thought i was in Malaysia.. fool. haha), got flowers for Reuben (just because... yeh. just because. haha.. ) and Bobby (to thank him for the last minute tickets.)

i always feel i must have a reason for giving something.. then again, there has been an occasion or 2 where i gave for no reason.

the last day of school was not really.. exciting, save for the blood donation drive. felt a bit woozy after that. but i felt mighty satisfied. haha. anyway, I NEED TO SCOOT. picking my sister up from school to bring her out for lunch. talk about a brain drain. been doing Tutorial 30 the whole morning. stupid normal distribution. sigh. OKOK, I HAVE TO GO.

Funny Video - What You Know About Math

2007-05-20T11:40:00.000-07:00

someone had a lot of fun last night, despite Chelsea winning 1-0. haha
now he can't wake up. X)

my day's very long and dreary. just got back from church with my family annoying the life out of me. especially my mum and bro. sigh. i know i know.. the whole good christian thing, but really, we're only human and i've a low tolerance for stupidity and i don't suffer fools.

anyway, i got this off Charlie's blog. it's friggin' funny. so WATCH IT. it wasn't a suggestion, it was an order. HAHA. gives a whole new meaning to the TI-84 calculator and math. LLOOVE IT.

1 day after 1 year anniversary

2007-05-19T23:38:00.000-07:00

you're so absorbed in your Manchester United vs. Chelsea game. haha.

thanks for today.

so much love.
poof.

happy 19 and happy one year.
well, one day belated. - but somebody was outfielding at Mandai. haha.

songs for the soul.

2007-05-15T20:03:00.000-07:00

haha, ARTHYA, guess what.. this is inspired by you..once again. haha. i found it terribly amusing.. so here we go...

RULES:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the nextbutton to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG TITLE DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!!!

right on... bring it.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY ?
Lie To Me (Daniel Powter)
no no, don't lie to me. I'LL BE HURT. haha.

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Shelter In The Rain (Stevie Wonder)
erm.... geee??

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY?
Animals (Nickelback)
oh myy.... suggestive. VERY suggestive. lol.

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Shine On (Ryan Cabrera)
right on dude... like.. shine man, and spread the love.. like all this anger man.. like.. it's a bummer.. (hippies.. sigh)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
All That Jazz (Chicago)
says it all. haha.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
How Come (James Morrison)
how come that's my motto??

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Hips Don't Lie (Shakira feat. Wyclef Jean)
my bum ain't that big love. why're you staring at me like that?? i don't lie.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
My December (Linkin Park)
irrelevant. lol

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Your Star (Evanescence)
ppreeeettttyyyyy...

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTIES?
Back In The Day (Christina Aguilera)
how true.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Feels Like Tonight (Chris Daughtry)
you mean the person i have. that sounds about right.. plus he's gorgeous and mine. sorry ladies.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Angel (Amanda Perez)
me? like Kalai said: yeh, and i'm the tallest person alive. i guess it depends on perspective. but i don't mind. haha.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Girlfriend (Avril Lavigne)
so much for ambition. HAHA. i've already made it there. NEXT!

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
If Your Love Cannot Be Moved (Stevie Wonder)
aawwww... i'll bet you 5 bucks i can move his X)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU??
Good Enough (Evanescence)
maybe.. just maybe.. in like the next decade.

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
I Got Money Now (Pink)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA... now that's funny.

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
My Place (Nelly feat. Jaheim)
guys.. don't... don't even think about it. hahaha.

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Somebody To Love (Queen)
this is getting obssessive. haha.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Far Away (Nickelback)
yea... i'd say yea.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
American Idiot (Green Day)
erm... i'm cool with Americans.. i think it's the "i don't wanna be AROUND an idiot."

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Shut Up (Black Eyed Peas)
OOPS.

all right folks.. that's all for today.

it's all about you.

2007-05-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

CURRENT MOOD: reminiscent
CURRENT MUSIC: What Goes Around Comes Around - Justin Timberlake

it's a fairly sunny day, yet not one of those that are unbearably hot days.
it's a quiet day with the rest of the inhabitants out for a Mothers' Day lunch.
a light breeze blowing through the grills of the window, somewhat messing up my, unusually neat stack of notes and tutorials. although, one may observe that the Campbell Biology textbook does not budge one bit. that would require Hurricane Katrina. i actually got really bored this morning.. and weighed it. it weighs a grand total of 4.5kg.

despite the need to study The Genetics of Viruses and Bacteria, my mind's been drifting a lot. i came to a conclusion that i might as well type it all out and get it off my chest. although it may be open for public viewership, i've no qualms about it.

it only seems like yesterday that i remember posting all those "emo" updates.. when i thought i'd just made the biggest mistake in my life and wasted 5 months of it. i've always had this tendency to rush into things and make a mess out of it. or try and put a screen of delusionment hoping that'll it come true. after singing "Over You", i guess it kinda epitomised how i felt a year and a half ago. you were never the best for me, and it was never my loss. as far as i'm concerned, i've found someone better. ah, ok, this is all very very very very, extremely toooo emo for my liking. blast it to smithereens.

in any case, regardless of all the events that have happened and the pressure i've been facing. a few people have been there for me. i want to thank a particular friend. thank you mofo. for being there for me, through all my whiney shit ass moments. for putting up with rumours and stuff that arose when we carried the same Adidas sling bag, or how we have the same Tag Heuer watch (you have the male version, i have the female one. doh) and we wore it on the same days, just for fun and 'cause you whined. you and your girl problems, me and my every other problem. lol. thanks for listening to me bitch last night about the ****ing double standards thingy. "FRIENDSHIP IS A HUG JUST WHEN IT IS NEEDED."

to another good friend. although we may not have known each other for that tremendously long.. it's been a good time. i was pleasantly surprised that you kept the 3 (made during chapel) cranes. even though you weren't at Rock AC, you still got me flowers and you smsed to check on how it went. thank you so much. you're my "bitch". LOL. go. fetch. hahahaha. i know times may be tough for you right now.. but it'll all be better. here's a phrase for you: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS AHEAD THAN ANY WE LEAVE BEHIND" -C.S. Lewis

finally, to my pillar of strength. you've always, and i do mean always, been there to catch me when i fall, both literally and metaphorically. even when i (metaphorically speaking) push you aside, you still hold on tight 'cause you know that as much as i'd like to think, i'm not that capable of looking after myself. i think i don't need to say anything more. you understand. "WHAT THE HEART HAS ONCE OWNED AND HAD, IT SHALL NEVER LOSE" -Henry Ward Beecher

'NOUGH EMO-NESS. LALALA LALA. right on. what's the difference between specialised and generalised transduction?

Rock AC and so on...

2007-05-12T23:14:00.000-07:00

talk about double standards. if i study last minute for a test, it's called being ill disciplined and stupid, but if she studies last minute for an exam (approximately 10 days before), it's called being OVERLY OPTIMISTIC. (Justin's laughter over the phone)

anyway, yesterday was Rock AC @ ACJC (doh). wicked stuff. congratulations to Wenlong and partner in crime for coming in tops and to Bing Jian and Set Zaw for coming in 3rd and 2nd respectively. well done. (notice though, how the winning performances were neither rock, nor did they have in sight a vocalist.) oh dear me.. no offence to Wenlong, but when you guys won, my bandmates stood up and shouted: SEE YOU TOMORROW ON KIDS CENTRAL. i rolled on the floor and nearly died laughing.

we (aka 5 EYES CLOSED) guest performed at Rock AC, and it was pretty cool. we had an extended stage and pwn amps, except, someone tripped over the wires... sooo... the monitors weren't working.. which was quite...saddening. the crowd was quite tamed at first and even stoned but eventually they loosened up, which is always a good thing. anyway, to my bandmates: Edric, Hamzah, Krish and Jeremy: i ****ing love you guys. you guys were bloody great last night and i wouldn't have had a different set of bandmates on stage with me. thanks for saying i'm just "IT". our bon jovi rendition once again... was friggin' awesome. well, i AM ACTUALLY QUITE BIASED. but ya know.. haha. we've got fans now.. not friend fans, but actual fans, which is as Krish would say: niceee.

to:
Robin, Reuben, Boren and Quan Rong of CIP
Aini
Charlene, Ryan, Kenneth and one other whose name fails me right now (SO SORRY) of ALCOPOPS
Sarah

i know you guys may not have won.. but let me just say i'm glad that i know most of you and i think you guys did a great job regardless of the end result. so don't feel too bummed out ( 'cause i know some of you are. spoke to you.) better to have tried than not have done it at all. it's about the rainbow along the way, not the pot of gold at the end. (though i know we would all agree, that pot looks pretty damn good.) hahahaha.

ah yes, and
CONGRATULATIONS TO AC CONCERT BAND!!!
GOLD WITH HONOURS + BAND OF THE YEAR.
well done especially to those i know: Samuel, Justin, Martin, Joel and Wenlong
very proud of you guys.

i will see you all ooonnnn monday.

in the library freezing my ass off

2007-05-07T16:45:00.000-07:00

CURRENT MOOD: annoyed
CURRENT MUSIC: suhaile talking.

he says: i appreciate the fact that you consider it music.

yes, macho lily, if you insist.

anyhow, we're in a situation. the computer labs are closed, and the library computers aren't terribly friendly.. not to mention irritatingly (suhaile says anal... gerald, he's missing you) irritating.. so much for vocab.

chivalry is DEAD. DEAD DEAD DEAD AND 12 FEET UNDER. amen. i mean, when an individual, especially that of the fairer sex walks into a room, (no i'm not being racist su., suhaile just banged his head on the table. LOL. ) anyway, when a member of the fairer sex walks into the room, a "male" should technically give up his seat especially when he has no right occupying it to begin with. (one seat per computer).. BUT NOOOOOOO, their bombastically sized asses don't seem to be able to budge. UGH. they don't even open doors, but of course, that's a very very general statement, which somehow applies for majority of my class "males". tsk.

ANYHOO. another meeting at 4.45... A2.1, and then off to the hairdresser's. YAY. suhaile's going to shave his hair again.. like pre-u seminar last year.. i still remember Miss Sangeetha's reaction. MUAHAHAHA. he asked to CUT his hair.. she didn't realise he meant SHAVE his hair.. she said: you could've done it AFTER pre-u sem right??
ah, the memories.. ughhh.. gerald and kevin just popped in... in my mind suhaile.. in the mind.. not the room. LOL. kidding to them anyway, fun times. anyway, IT'S TIME. WE'RE LATE!!

2007-04-27T00:01:00.000-07:00

CURRENT MOOD: melancholy
CURRENT MUSIC: Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5

i really haven't been having a good week. if you slap my face in or outside school ever again, i will not hesitate to punch your face in.

don't touch me.

a bit of a "i really don't need this" kinda mood earlier on.
guess i'm just not one of them, "if i wrote you a symphony..."

do tell why.

i passed i passed i passed...

2007-04-22T19:47:00.000-07:00

YES. i passed. i passed. i passed.

you who see eye to eye with me, literally.. do keep in mind that i'm now 2 grades your senior. so try, if you can, to keep the bitching you so adore on the low. just try. X) i don't want to be forced into putting you in your place. that would be highly embarrassing and not quite the way i prefer to work, though i do have a flair for such antics.

i prefer low-key manipulative methods.

XD just joking (for the sake of my friends who might've gone rigid in their seats).

anyway, i'm in a good mood.. despite.. a bruised collar bone and shin, and a couple of bruised toes and ribs. so, if you're on msn and want to chat about stupid things, tonight's the night to do so. haha

perfect timing.. idiot.

2007-04-22T13:05:00.000-07:00

i'm about to go for an exam.. and everybody decides: oh, lookie! now's the opportune moment to piss amy off!

goodness gracious me, LEAVE ME ALONE. unless you really have something important to say and you're at risk of losing your life... then again, i wouldn't mind if some of you lost it momentarily while i took my exam. i'll revive you after the exam. my mum's got one of her MSC exams tomorrow and is driving everyone, especially me, absolutely bonkers. she's ranting and raving about an exam to someone who has been through 11.5 years, well, 14.5 if you include preschool, of the beloved education system. i told her to take a sweet.

ah.. right.. hopefully, i'm in a good mood later on. the results are released immediately after the exam. drats.

now where would i want to go?

2007-04-16T04:45:00.001-07:00

now where...in the world... would i want to go? after looking at a caption under Arthya's photo about him wanting to live in Downtown Washington, i as suddenly inspired to blog about that particular.. "topic". yes Arthya, you inspired me, WWOAH. hahaha.

anyhow, i actually don't think i'll want to live overseas, maybe visit or study but i doubt i'll permenantly settle anywhere other than overly-sunny Singapore. call me unadventurous or whatever, but i think that i would want to have a fairly stable environment to start a family. i don't entirely fancy the idea of automated weapons being purchased at the downtown K-Mart by 12 year olds. uh uh. but as for the places i want to travel to, oh where do i even start...

1. Milan - Italy
2. Vatican City
3. Paris - France
4. Hokkaido, Okinawa - Japan
5. New Orleans (AGAIN!! though unfortunately, it's lost its beauty after Hurricane Katrina), New York City!! (the most i ever saw of it was a transit flight at JFK airport, how absolutely sad.)
6. England

oh the list goes on. shall we go backpacking? not everywhere listed above, but maybe across Europe? or go to New York City? just you and me. haha. yay.

ah, the trick to "bitching" about someone, is to ensure she isn't in the cubicle of the toilet you're in when you get the party started. once again, one knows who her friends are. doesn't really bother me, i actually find it amusing. so, clearly, they didn't play a very important role in my life to start off with. haha.

so much for that

2007-04-14T23:02:00.000-07:00

you take me for granted sometimes...
i don't like that..

so much for it being a good day..
it's a bad night.

happy, i think.

2007-04-14T21:28:00.000-07:00

CURRENT MOOD: pensive
CURRENT MUSIC: Grace Kelly - Mika

despite incidences from the previous day, some of which were rather "disconcerting", it didn't really affect my mood today. i guess i've finally figured out what is important in life. my friends, and i don't mean those sort who only want your companionship 'cause you have something they want or come to you expecting a reward in return. i'm referring to true friends who will be there regardless and do the stupidest of things just 'cause they know it'll make you happy. my music and my bandmates, my doggy, my karate, my family (can't believe i just said that? neither can i), God in a way though my faith is not strong, and very importantly, my love. other things, what people may say, do or imply... they don't really matter that greatly if you know what you want in life. clearly, you don't want them in it. so there you have it.

today was a good day.. i finished my book, i had fun, i told someone special things i've been wanting to say at face value, i was praised and critiqued (just to show me where to improve) at training, i'm finishing learning a latin song, i'm happily making progress playing a rhapsody on the piano (finally a song of my choice with no pressure to get it down perfect immediately).

however, i foresee tomorrow to be a very exhausting day. 4 hours of tuition.. chemistry and mathematics.

oh, the horrors.

it's been a while

2007-04-10T20:17:00.000-07:00

CURRENT MOOD: bordering on cranky
CURRENT SONG: Lithium - Evanescence

i realise it's actually been quite.. "a while" since the last time i blogged.
i think i should change the skin too.
let's just say i've been busy.

term exams recently passed and despite not being too pleased with my economics and mathematics, on the whole, i've actually made a noticeable improvement in my other subjects. 5 grades up is a big... difference. it's given me somewhat.. more confidence when dealing with inept, name calling, people labelling "homosapiens" (i prefer to think of them as.."THINGS") with their warped idiosyncracies. it's a lot easier to know that i've exacted sweet revenge on some of these "THINGS", purely by showing them i'm far more capable than they believed/believe. of course i've really got nothing to prove, but it does give a great deal of satisfaction and could possibly become my driving force for the A levels. IN YOUR GOLF-BALL-TEXTURED FACE. muahaha.

the past 2.5 weeks have been lonely without that close companionship that i yearn for. ok, that came out quite desperate... then again, who says i'm not, well for that ONE person only, thank you. no substitutes will be appreciated and will be promptly sent back from whence they came. so yes, to that special one in my life, i miss you.

i really need to go shopping. like proper shopping. not window shopping. although people still owe me money cough*Jeremy*cough*Edric*cough, i believe i still have enough to indulge in some retail therapy. SHOES are definitely on my list. they are STAPLES and a complete MUST. so tomorrow, Joy and i shall have a go in town after school. hopefully Justin can join us. suddenly he's got band rehearsal and he's not too pleased about it.

pondering

2007-03-20T11:33:00.000-07:00

CURRENT MUSIC: Dive - Steven Curtis Chapman
CURRENT MOOD: confident. no. not really.

terms provide a valuable lesson.
have high hopes, but low expectations.
so you don't crash land too badly.

it's 3 hours to my math paper.
what the hell am i posting an entry for..

long time no blog.

2007-03-03T14:18:00.000-08:00

CURRENT MUSIC: Listen - Beyonce
CURRENT MOOD: Melancholy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHI AN!!

today's Shi An's 9th birthday and she's celebrating it at her grand-dad's place which happens to be up the hill from mine, so Yu-beng (her dad, my friend, the famed bald 999 cop [he's gonna kill me for this]...) happened to drop an sms saying he was outside in the hot sun tying balloons. hahaha. so yeh. went out for a while, (getting away from all the boring humdrum of the lunchtime conversation my parents were having with their friends) and said hi and talked about what nots and seeing how short i am compared to Shi An. thanks girl. i'm twice your age, legal and still no where near twice your height. damn.

yesterday night was arts night 2007 - JIVE IN. queer theme if you ask me, but no one asked.. so fine fine..
thanks to those who came to support 5 Eyes Closed.. we are .. eternally grateful.. well..sorta. yeh.. hahahaha. hamzah-mida was the hot favourite.. everyone loves a lil mat drummer. X) bon jovi rocked my socks. yes it did. livin on a prayer. lips of an angel was..so-so. i didn't like it. blah. i will.. almost never play again at a school event. reasons unknown. i'll let you know when i figure it out. but i have to say two things.. the bhangra group was like.. OWNAGE man. and tim's band Barely Justified.. their guitarist.. DAMN. made me wanna go out and buy a wireless guitar too! you see anyone run up and down the LT4 playing a guitar before?? i can swear by my pretty lil louis vuitton handbag that i ain't never seen that. PWNZ.

well.. i'm 18..legal.. and i haven't had a drink yet.. while legal that is. doo-doodoo-doodoo..

valentine's.

2007-02-14T23:52:00.000-08:00

CURRENT MOOD: Ecstatic
CURRENT MUSIC: I'm Still Here - Goo Goo Dolls

love came in a size 2 singpost box.
simply put, i love you too.

happy valentine's day.

2007-01-03T14:41:00.000-08:00

CURRENT MOOD: frustrated
CURRENT MUSIC: call me when you're sober - evanescence

i feel so.. annoyed and pissed and completely frustrated. it's not like we have a lot of time left together. it's not your fault, but could you make an effort?

everyone wants to prove that they're so goddamn smart and better, screw you.

i'm really really angry, approach at your own risk.

the year's coming to an end.. bummer.

2006-12-28T11:25:00.000-08:00

CURRENT MOOD: Nostalgic
CURRENT MUSIC: Boston - Augustana

wow... it's already the 28th. that's just 3 more days before this year ends, that's a scary thought. i guess, it'd probably be due to me just not wanting to let 2006 go, but you and i both know that's just not even theoretically possible. it's been a 364.whatever year, but still.. it feels like.. it's gone by too fast. almost as if Mr Sandman decided to just put you to sleep and you woke up to find yourself at the end of the year. curse you, you fictional character.

BUT.. it's been a good year, despite less than desireable grades for chem and math, i'd say i'm fairly at peace with the rest of em blasted subjects.

it's as if it was just yesterday when i was first walking through the college gates lined with student councillors handing out candy. when i was splattered with mud and starch and got them in places i never knew it could.. well.. nevermind that. meeting old friends, making new friends. liking people, disliking people.. more so the former thankfully. as the year goes by, you slowly realises which ones you like more and which ones are there for you ever so often, thank you lovies. always the same 3 people, well, if i include loopy boy there, then fine, 4 people. haha.

ah.. let's do a littl recap of what i can recall of this year...
Jan:
happy birthday dad
mmm... mud mud starch soap mud mud starch.. soap.. grass.. hahaha

"i'm leaving on a jetplane" to Bangkok for an annual karate camp.
mm... SD2~ my first 3 months class.. you guys.. are seriously a loopy bunch. haha.

Feb:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!
valentine's day X) - breko's
funD-o-rama - HAHA

March:
er... rehearsals..rehearsals..er..
R.A.T.S.
happy birthday dish.

April:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY you dweeb of a brother

May:
happy birthday loopy boy <3
Pre-U Seminar right into June

June:
Pre-U Seminar
Somethingood - M.R.I.
Off on a jetplane to Bangkok for 2 weeks karate bootcamp. (ouch)

July:
Hi.. happy birthday mum and grandpa
exams.. aargh

Aug:
Off to Sydney for the Funakoshi Gichin Shotokan World Cup (8TH in the world BABY! woot. okok, down ego! down.)

Sept:
happy birthday joy
-- SOOOO GOOOD.

Oct:
exams...sigh
happy birthday ben chow
open house

Nov:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY my lil i-pretend-to-be-cute-in-front-of-others sister
Off to Perth.. hot stuff..

Dec:
CHRISTMAS uh huh uh huh.. hahaha.

sigh.. there'd be more.. just that.. i can't for the life of me recall the rest.. i'm not much of a morning person.

it's coming!!

2006-12-16T13:28:00.000-08:00

christmas is 9 days away!! whheeeee... haha. i seem to be the only one counting down.. haha. it's not because i look forward to receiving presents or anything (although i must say i do enjoy it), it's more so that i just love belting out christmas carols at the expense of others' hearing. hahaha. watching them cringe as a sing The Christmas Song for the 120387th time. (that's my favourite carol if you couldn't already tell)

i don't entirely enjoy spending christmas with the family.. it's such a chore.. to me, family reunions over christmas, new year and other random festive seasons are just an excuse for your parents to fill your relatives in on every little dirty detail that you'd rather just shoot yourself in the temple than have them know. for those who know me well enough and long enough, you know a lot of the drama that goes on in this household, and you'd probably know where i'm coming from. as for the rest, you're probably thinking: IS SHE BLOOMING MAD?? family members buy you the best gifts and treat you the best!
blah blah blah blah. blaaahhhh. ok.

ANYHOOO.. for those who still owe me money, I WANT MY MONEY. thank you. haha. i don't want to be some loan shark chasing you for it. especially A*****... girl.. you owe me $45 for the last 3 damn years. i intend to get it before i expire. thanks.

i'm sooo upset. the gig that we were supposed to play for at the fullerton on the eve of christmas eve (that's the 23rd folks, in case i confused anyone) has been CANCELLED!! *gasp* yes... it has. so... now... i'll be...well..... ... bored. and V******'s coming out of camp on that day, so i'm not entirely required for something else now. which is a good and bad thing. bad thing cos.. i was looking forward to it.. good thing cos thinking about it now, i don't think i wanna embarrass myself in front of certain members of the audience. amen.

ah... it's the holidays man.. and i've got to memorise and learn every damn thing about alkanes and alkenes by tmr 4pm.. tuition.. sigh.. lucky me.

i need some lovin'.

ESCAPE PLAN..formulated.. sorta.

2006-12-11T22:38:00.000-08:00

I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE...URGH..
*slams forehead on table a couple o' times.*

this is just ridiculous. i need to get out of this shit holeeeee..ladeedadeeda...
before i go blooming mad. not that i'm that far off, but all the more a reason to get my tush out of this... ecosystem./ where i happen to be at the bottom of the food chain.

mmmmmmm....
ah yes, all who would like golden country tickets for 5 JAN 2006, PLEASE DO FIND ME. please. yes. advertising done. $15. be nice, be gracious, be GENEROUS.

why the lies.

2006-12-08T00:05:00.000-08:00

why lie? why not tell me the truth?

don't tell me i can't handle the truth, because you don't have the guts to tell it.

why do i have to find out from everyone else?

don't tell me to choose between your word and theirs, because there's clearly a flaw in the story.

discarded and burnt.

why can't i be emo?

2006-12-06T00:24:00.000-08:00

i think i have every right and reason to be emo. perhaps some may feel it unfair or outrageous or perhaps others may feel it just and right. whatever your opinion may be, it's yours, so keep it to yourself or be shot.

so many rules.. so many ... happenings..
it's suffocating..
why can't there be one moment where i can just stop.. and sit.. and stare.
maybe another day for those who have enjoyed the humour of the previous post, then i shall post another one. today isn't a day for such humour.

typical drama...

2006-12-02T00:27:00.000-08:00

what is..
a home.
family.

what are..
parents.
siblings.

based on the oxford dictionary of 1978 - goes to show how updated i am. i have only one response. you have got to be kidding me. ha.

i scoff in complete indignation of such ridiculous emotions or connections that arise when people discuss such issues.

my opinion? well, let us recap...

what is a home?
answer, a house with random occupants.

what is family?
answer, a term given to the closer random occupants you live with which your moral ed teacher taught you in primary 1.

what are parents?
answer, dictators in disguise ready to overthrow the government anyday with catch phrases. formally known as Dictorial Parentica Itoldyousota. can be found at all factory outlets, rechargeable batteries included.

what are siblings?
answer, beings that either share the pain, or bring more.

they take your dreams and roll it up in a neat ball and toss it out the window into the nearest drainage system. if you're incapable of achieving their dreams or live the "ideal" life, then they proceed to make you feel like you're possibly the most pathetic creature on the face of the known planet and other existing galactic spaces, if any. it's like Battleship Parentica.

misery is a very good friend of mine when i find my being occupying space in the building. it's as though the moment i walk in, it triggers off some sensors that command: THE SPECIES We-asummet She-isan Idioticus HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING, ALL AVAILABLE Dictorial Parentica Itoldyousota TO COMMENCE IMMEDIATE ATTACK. DESTROY ALL COMMUNICATIONS (through confiscation of mobile system) AND ENSURE PERIMETER IS SECURED (aka, grounding for an unstated and unknown duration...)

i live in a drama series.. where i always lose.

thankfully i do have a rescue team.. mainly a one-man show - although more members have since joined, which conducts therapy and rehabilitation as well as retail therapy from time to time.

when will this end.. i long for the day when the credits pop up and i see The End.

then, i can start my own life.. with a special someone.. and lead my own dreams and do what i want to do.. til then... i'll just have to get through another ...to be continued...

in aussieland

2006-11-23T21:42:00.000-08:00

lonely on the other side of the world.
feeling...neglected, unwanted and just very much alone.

"fool."

i'm ok.

2006-11-16T00:45:00.000-08:00

i've managed to calm down since my recent.. explosion. well, relatively calm anyhow.

he's been studying really hard, a sure shoo in for a whole load of As if you ask me. i just hope he doesn't burn out before the exam is over. he refuses to tell me his shoe size, so.. if anyone knows who i'm talking about and you know his shoe size, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.. please.. not desperately, but you know, please, let me know. haha.

i'm going to try and start a business.. see how it goes. jeremy's quite hopeful. so am i. so, hopefully, all goes well and all you people, PLEASE ENDORSE. hahaha.it'll be a good investment. haha.

well, i'm keeping myself busy being grounded and all... OH YES, before i forget..

once...again...

Acsian Theatre presents
THE GOLDEN COUNTRY

5th January, Friday
8pm
DBS Arts Centre - Home of the SRT
$15/ticket
Free Seating

i don't have my mobile anymore, so TAG my board, EMAIL me, or hound me on MSN.. or if you want, you could call my house number if you have it. not like i'm going anywhere. JUST PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME GUESS WHO YOU ARE. IT THOROUGHLY ANNOYS ME. i'll just tell you: "NO IDEA" and make you feel neglected and unwanted. so, TA.

allrighty.

off to stare at my fan going round and round.

leave me be.

2006-11-13T11:57:00.000-08:00

all right.

you wanna treat me like that. treat me like dirt and like i ain't worth shit. i despise you both. the things you did and do and are going to do. i mean.. what the hell? you don't deserve anything. make it sound like i'm mentally unsound. ditch me somewhere where we won't meet on a daily basis, take away my life, dreams and all forms of communication. trap me in this damn hole and i can't get out. i'm pissed off. could you tell?

so this is where things are headed. aight, i can live with it.

after all, the closest thing we ever shared was similar DNA.
so, EFF off.

BREATHE.

2006-11-05T16:36:00.000-08:00

oh...
my..
life...

BREATHE.

it's been...so...BUSY.

i woke up this morning and everything just..ACHED. my biceps, triceps, hamstrings, quarts and... OH MY BACK. ow. yes, well. OW.

i thought all the running about and stuff was never gonna end, and IT HAS. i'm not sure if it's a good thing. i mean, on one hand, i can actually sleep and breathe and take in the not-so-sweet aroma of HAZE, and feel absolutely lethargic and have nothing better to do than to look at the fan go round and round and wonder why it's creaking. MMM.. and yet, on the other hand, i'm going to miss having some people around on a daily basis.

but i feel that i need to do justice to some special people in my first year of junior college life. they've made it loopy, mobilic and ... QUEER. but without them, life would be a chore.

ben chow.
yes homie, you have made this year a very...queer and exciting one. without you, i wouldn't have done or said some of the darnest things i have. without you, i would never have fully understood the definition of SANE.. or rather, INsane. YOU, my dear friend, have redefined it for me. HEH HEH HEH. your antics, incorperated with MY antics, have made us an extremely comical duo.. in our own weird deifinition of comedy, (most would just sigh in exasperation). you have been there for me, through high times and low times, and we have shared sentiments and thoughts over...MATTERS.. some more odour-full than others. (NO, that wasn't a racist dig.. OK, maybe it was. i would say: SELECTIVELY RACIST.) you have so much potential and are capable of so much more than you're allowed to show. don't let what others say pull you down, you are...spectacular and unique in your own right, and i love you for it. to end this off: "HE FELT LIKE A MAN AGAIN." you know that'll be my favourite line for that play. cheers mate.

disha.
annapurna something something.. nevermind. i won't even try. my fellow dysfunctional clock. you are..AMAZING. you have been there for me..through it all, my temperaments, when i'm down and out, when i flung my phone across the srt o.O, when i go a bit nuts, when i'm ready to fling people down staircases and what not.. THANK YOU. you have jacked me so many times, i've lost count.. from washing faces in toilet bowls (not that we did) and eating vegetarian sandwiches (not that i did, but you did.. heh heh heh), to having mobil moments where you would just laugh at me (thanks, really helps my self esteem), it's been fun.i couldn't have asked for a more whacko friend than yourself. and in the wise words of narrator #2 & 5: "eh, eh, you're sniggering on stage. HEHEHHEHE. eh, why're you sniggering on stage!" love you babe.

and to that special someone,
thanks for always, without fail, being there for me. through my pmsy moments, my loopy moments and your loopy moments, every moment has been bliss. you've always made sure i'm feeling good and that i don't get run down by cars while crossing the road, you make sure that i don't trip and fall flat on my face, and as cheesy as it sounds (i know disha's gonna cringe. TOO BAD GIRL.) you've shown me something i never dreamt of. words will never suffice, so i'm just gonna stop here. i love you. "YOU CAN ONLY SAY THINGS LIKE THESE AT 1AM IN THE MORNING."

that's all for now, but before i take my leave,
TO THE ACSIAN THEATRE J1s OF 2006: THANK YOU.
YOU GUYS AND GIRLS HAVE MADE THIS JOURNEY...FANTASTIC.
-"return LOVE with LOVE."

COME ONE AND ALL.

2006-10-18T21:53:00.000-07:00

BEAUTY & THE BEAST
- a gothic tale
Venue: DBS Arts Centre - Home of the Singapore Repertory Theatre (near Robertson Walk)
Dates: 3, 4 November 2006 (Fri & Sat respectively)
Time: 8pm
Price: $20 per ticket

do come and watch and support everyone, be it your friends or some random person on stage. sms me, email me or tag me if you want tickets and then come and find me to get them. THANK YOU ONE AND ALL.

that aside,
i've been driven to the point of physical breakdown. i'm so exhausted, i'm down with a fever.. again.. i'm losing my voice and my head's just throbbing. ah... woe unto me..
BUT...
happy you-know-what, i love you. yes i do. how...so very...in-your-face. haha. plenty more months and years to go... love you.

what is a girl to do.

2006-09-27T16:41:00.000-07:00

promos are in 2 days and i'm still blogging. i guess i just need an outlet... for my...bottled up frustration. the torment of trying and yet not quite succeeding.

for example,
how am i to master integration by monday?
how am i to complete chemistry by next friday?
how am i to convince the marker that elasticity in demand really isn't a problem?
how am i to coherently write an essay on dna, evolution and variation?

woe unto me.

beauty is in the eyes of the beholder i say.
and he proves me right.
what he sees in me, i'll never know.
but i don't need to know such minor technicalities.
i've got what i need.

indeed, all i ask for.

don't look at us or me with pleading eyes,
you know you brought it on yourself.
did you think you could get away so easily.
please dear compatriot, use your God given schemata.
or would i call you a compatriot? that would associating mine self with you.
would i really want to do that?
no fear, i'm not really the nasty.
just rather appalled by your lack of sensitivity and wisdom.
such is, we're now all condemned.

i will go down with this ship. not.

ah....what is a girl to do in such a world as this.
such a society that condemns the very values it tries to instill.
how very contradictory.
but of course, one cannot be so ignorant that there are changes.
for better or worse, to be or not to be.
that's not entirely the question,
but what the heck, yes?

one week left til freedom be mine.
and i shall be thine.

forever and ever.

post script.
an example of beauty eternalised and lost in time, like the pictures you find in old chinese history books. such is my grandmother.

YES. FINALLY. the marriage of kevin and dharshini

2006-09-24T16:51:00.000-07:00

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.

LIKE....FINALLY!!!!!!!!!

haha, my cousin and his fiancee finally tied the knot today. after how many friggin' decades of courtship (excuse my finch).

wedding's are such good times to check out fashion dos and don'ts. however, because this is my relatives we're talking about. i'll just deal with the dos and leave the don'ts to rest in peace. or my red packets will rest in peace this comeing chinese new year, and i do like my red packets.

dharshini looked sooooo beautiful and kevin didn't look as fat. hahaha. sorry kevin, i am your evil lil cousin after all, and that's PAY BACK for putting me in a pink dress!! (i's one of the the bride's maids)
anyway, she looked absolutely stunning in a white toga gown with a trail from the sleeve all the way down (even longer than the trail on the floor) and a tiara. he was looking spiffy in a black suit and his hair gelled nicely like a oxford lawyer should. haha.

i shall post some photos up soon soon when i get them off my dad's laptop. just none of me in a pink dress. too bad folks. my bro needs to have steadier hands when taking photos, but some were really awesome stuff. for an 11-year old boy, it's super. but, of course, c'est moi being his absolutely evil sister, won't let him know that. muahaha. *evil grin*

alex (my other cousin, kevin's younger bro) has got the euro geek look going for him. my dad calls it the whatever look. he's got glasses from the 70s, the skinny tie, shiny white belt, tappered pants, a blazer a size too small, and WHITE CONVERSE SHOES. hahaha. it was the funkiest formal wear i'd ever seen. hahaa. only alex can pull it off. seriously. he's hansum yes.

his girlfriend, michelle, was going for the whimsical look. pretty in a green and white empire lined pantaloon frock, with matching platform-ish heels.

then jonathan's (my other cousin, alex younger brother. they're all brothers. bear with me, i have 22 immediate cousins and counting.) got the KOREAN look. zomg. his hair's wicked. he'll probably kill me, cos he keeps saying he's going for the JAP look. i say it's korean man!

and someone was looking absolutely dashing with a vintage mickey mouse tie. so classy. haha. goofy yet classy. or rather, mickey. haha. he threatened to wear pink, but i think he values his life way too much. haha.

my sister was the flower girl, looking pretty in pink in a multi-layered pink floral dress picked out from OG by dearest mummy and very nicely done up hair - 2 french braids fused into one, done by c'est moi of course. X)

my brother... mmm... well, he didn't look half bad except his shirt could have afforded to have been less....square-ish. my sister called him the king of chess and he called himself THE WORLD'S LARGEST TABLE CLOTH. ah well, sean, tonight you're wearing a different shirt for the dinner don't worry. haha.

dad and mum went for complementary shades of black, white and grey. i know most people would say: hello, 'tis a wedding, not funeral!
but i say: very very very elegant and classy.
mummy wore a white thick spag-strapped blouse that had an empire line and fanned out slightly with a slim long black skirt. very flattering.
daddy on the other hand wore his usual black pants and a white and grey striped shirt with a dog-print tie. haha.

uncle tony and auntie maisie (kevin's parents) looked great too. auntie maisie made an effort (well, duh, it is her eldest son's wedding), by wearing a green and orange baju kebaya with intricate embroidery left right and centre. i've never in the last decade seen uncle tony so dressed up. nicely pressed black suit that looks very very new, probably is and a nice big smile to match.

well, that's all for now from ms fashionista. will get back to ya in another post about tonight's dinner. should be fun. XD

what am i going on about?

2006-09-20T21:48:00.000-07:00

how can they place a 17 year old in a situation where relationships and trustworthiness are compromised. that's just pure insanity.

what is the purpose?
what is the meaning?
how do you define it?

i'm an extreme person. i go from high to low in a matter of minutes.
just a message,
a phone call,
a letter,
a suggestion,
a hint,
a gesture,
and i've gone from good to bad.
i don't whip out M16 rifles or some unknown military machinery.
just.. bad.

sigh... how often we use this form of expression.

do i ask for much?
am i emotionally demanding?
how questionable is the question truly.
not a question, but a statement.
i am.
i am what i am.
and you are who you are.
nothing more nothing less...

what is said cannot be resaid...
what is done cannot be redone...
differently.

because, it's gone.

the moment flies by and you never really know what hits you til it's hit you.

don't you love those moments?
i do and i don't.

i do...
i like the unpredictability that situations can throw at you.
i like to be able to laugh at them if i'm successful,
and i like to burn all evidence that i even tried if i'm...
unsuccessful.
i like the thrill,
the adrenaline,
the emotions,
the chaos...
the euphoria.

i don't...
i like to know what i'm facing
what i need to go through
i like to be in the know
i need to be in the know
i want to be in the know
i don't care about knowing what happens to others
i'm not being self-centred, or maybe i am,
but the focus is,
me.
i need to work out my thoughts
process the equation
sort out the mechanism.
i need, i want...
need and want...
they've become blurry at this moment in time,
to me at least.

i want to know and yet i don't know what i need.
it's become insatiable.
an unquenchable desire for something i'm uncertain of.
how utterly confusing and consuming.

it's gone to the point where there is no point...

the things he does.

2006-09-11T20:58:00.000-07:00

HE WILL

1. watch a chick flick just because.
2. poke my nose because it's "like a button".
3. give me his jacket when i'm cold, even though he's frozen.
4. finish my food when i almost never finish it.
5. eat the green pepper which i wanted and he didn't.
6. amuse himself with how cold my nose can get from drinking a mocha frappe.
7. look out for a starbucks outlet so i can buy that mocha frappe.
8. always let me make the decisions.
9. never tell me what i should or should not wear.
10. laugh at my evil thoughts.
11. try to outlast me, but never does.
12. blackmail me to see how long i'll last.
13. trip down the stairs to make me feel like less of a klutz (then again, i think that wasn't on purpose)
14. make sure i don't walk into doors
15. try to help me in my studies without confusing me further.
16. call me at night, just 'cause he knows i have free incoming calls.
17. tell me i'm beautiful/pretty.
18. let me mess up his hair.
19. always mess up my hair.
20. tell me he loves me.

forever and ever babe.

time to update.

2006-09-08T22:26:00.000-07:00

AH, i'm blogging again. like finally.

sorry, just been way too busy lately and when i'm not busy, i'm lazy, so now i've told myself: AMY, YOU HAVE TO BLOG.

this week of holidays has been very enjoyable. quality time spent with people. watching movies, chilling, studying at the library (yes, i do study. no, i'm not running a fever.), going out for meals. etc.

so yesterday, i went out for lunch with justin and freddie. went down to city hall's thai express. then we just hung about doing window shopping, staring at people, watching some performances by groove nation. so-so. deo and stephen could've given the beatboxer there a run for his money. anyway, we finally stopped at mcafe. AH, BUMPED INTO YU XUN. haha. he was with some friend supposedly studying. tried to study diversity and evolution, but ended up writing a paragraph of justin's econs essay for him. i left soon after, headed for town. BUMPED INTO SWEE along the way. haha. bumping into all the ac canoeists.

someone was looking all spiffy. i must admit though, he looked dashing - make any girl go weak in the knees. but of course, he's not to know that. gotta keep that ego of his in check X)

hokie, last night, went for inventio with krish, where we bumped into LC, deb, and jayne. like woohoo, my butt went numb after the first hour. those seats aren't very comfy. then again, i really shouldn't complain. the seats at the substation are worse. they're not even seats! as far as i'm concerned, they're an upward extension of the floor with flaps attached to one side. -.-

so... there to support all of the dep people. you lovely lovely people who smeared makeup and sweat all over me after the performance. haha. and my dearest disha, yes love, you succeeded in putting me into a state of complete bewilderment. ben, GO GET A HAIRCUT, chin hua, yes darl, SPIKE YOUR HAIR. don't ever let it down again. the horrors.

today.. went to sentosa for a while with my sibs and dad. mum had a giddy spell. went on the luge and skyride. fairly enjoyable yeh. but didn't like the skyride that much,
1. i'm afraid of heights
2. it was slow moving
3. under the hot sun with no form of protection (besides the ozone layer)

so, not that great for me.

did some baking. choc chip cookies.
anybody?

what a day.

2006-08-28T20:20:00.000-07:00

today was... enjoyable, yet entirely horrible.

the enjoyable part was :

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEN BEN!!

it's ben's birthday today. we got him a mango cake (THANKS EDI, IT WAS LOVELY), then kalai and i got him a gift.. 2 gifts actually. a pair of flip flops from new urban male (which he kept nagging for) and a pencil box (which he also kept nagging for). he's using the pencil box now in school, we had the handover ceremony right before GP. haha. good bye old OP pencil box, HELLO MYUK. haha. then joshua splattered a slice of cake all over ben's face. hahahaha. i was like: OH MAN.. THERE GOES A PERFECTLY GOOD PIECE OF CAKE.

hahaha, what the heck. all in the name of good fun.

the bad part came.. sigh... i don't really wanna mention it or talk about it.. it's just too..tiring. i just hope people don't judge one another by what has happened. and you know FORGIVE AND FORGET.

there's this saying.. by Henry Ward Beecher: "I can forgive, but i cannot forget; is only another way of saying, i will not forgive. forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in 2, and burned up so that it can never been shown against one."

there's another one by Thomas Fuller: "he that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself, for every man has need to be forgiven."

sometimes, some things are better left unsaid, as Einstein said: "if A = success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keeping your mouth shut."

i'm not taking sides by saying KEEPING YOUR MOUTH SHUT. it goes for both sides.
to you, that person may not have had the right to peach on everyone, to that person, you had no right to do what you'd done.
both parties should fully accept the consequences of their own actions like mature beings. no point cursing and swearing. what's done's done.

i just want people to stop brooding over it all.

life is too important to be taken so seriously, and it can be summed up in 3 words: it goes on.
so let's just stop all this nonsense and grow up.

no need for revenge, no need for hatred or anger. just...

STOP.

I'M BACK AND BIGGER.

2006-08-22T19:42:00.000-07:00

i am back! yes i am.
it's been a wicked week down under.
cool weather, blue skies, funky environment and great fun.
of course it's good to be back mate, but i can't say i didn't enjoy myself there.
AND... I'M RANKED WORLD 8TH FOR 16-18YRS GIRLS INDIVIDUAL KATA.
EAT YA HEART OUT MATEYS.
so, here's what happened in my life from the 15th - 21st of this month.

DAY 1
flight at 9.20am from Singapore to Sydney (darn early)
when we got there, tis about 7pm, but the skies looked like 10pm. weather was cool, so it was quite comfy. cabs were aplenty, so we had no difficulty making our way from the airport to Darling Habour. we stayed at Somerset as always. it's like my dad's favourite serviced apartments. so... the food at the serviced apartment didn't look too...palatable. so we made our way to chinatown which was 3 blocks away.
it's wicked! CHINATOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF SYDNEY. AHA, how cool is that? ok, the food was... so-so. a bit too salty. just A BIT. so anyway, we trudged back to the apartment and stopped at bread story and convenience stores along the way. the fruits were bloody expensive, and my dad as always bought the weirdest breads...
i mean, NORMAL PEOPLE like MOI, pick stuff like sausage rolls, pizza thingys, choc bread, etc. what does my dad pick? GREEN TEA BREAD, ORANGE CROISSANT, some weird concoction that i refused to go near. BIOHAZARDOUS.
then i asked the PMSY GAY, oh i mean, GUY at the reception how to get to OLYMPIC PARK and he was like: oh you gotta go down that road to blah blah blah george street blah blah blah the right blah blah blah no no, the other right, blah blah blah Townhall, blah blah train's the fastest way, blah blah, oh it's easy blah blah blah, change trains, no don't change trains (???) change trains if you want to ( HUH -.- ) then you stop at Lidcombe and you're there. -.- SIGH...
that was about it for that day. slept pretty well.

DAY 2
woke up pretty early. went to Townhall station to catch the train to Lidcombe. best part is: WE GOT ON THE WRONG TRAIN. ended up in Concord West. some really really rural area. so... we had to wait 1/2 an hour for the next train to come to bring us to back to Strathfield so we could change trains to Lidcombe. told ya it was rural. -.-
at Lidcombe, we had to change trains to the Olympic Sprint train. from there on it was quite straightforward. went all the way to Novotel (yes, it is a hotel -.-) where the registration was taking place. so many people.. South Africa, Scotland, Serbia&Montenegro, Germany, USA, Japan, Canada, India, Sri Lanka, Laos, Thailand, Sweden, Trinidad and Tobago. just to name some of the 40+++ countries present at the competition. we didn't even have a Singapore sweat suit. i's quite sad man. but it was ok. so... hung around, tried out the arena, trained for about 2 hours, got geared up and then it was back home to rest up before the big day.

DAY 3
the BIG day.
i was so so nervous. i got up super super uber early just to make sure i was there on time. had to sew on my number tag to my gi (karate uniform) and i was so cold and numb that i kept pricking myself with the needle cos i was just so cold and my fingers were not listening to the brain. my dad was trying to calm me down. was not working... heh. and you know EVERYONE'S A LITTLE BIT RACIST. so.. just cos i was ASIAN and NOT JAPANESE, all these *ahem* people, were disrespecting me man. i felt out of place, out of focus, just OUT. i thought i was gonna get kicked out on the first round yo. i felt i was unlucky. i had 3 elimination rounds, unlike some others who only had 2.
i remember walking into the arena. woot. it was packed. it was cold. it was frightening.
they go by a flag system. RED (representing AKA) and WHITE (SHIRO).
first up was KATA.
so, 2 competitors will go up onto the competing mats and one will be wearing a red cloth around the waist, the other will have no cloth. then they will perform the same kata randomly chosen by the chief judge from a deck of cards. there is 1 chief judge at the front and 4 sub judges sitting at all 4 corners of the mat. once the kata has been performed, the whistle will be blown and the chief judge will blow the whistle. the 4 corner judges will raise either the red or white flag depending on who they felt did better. the chief judge will then decide who won that round by raising his flag.

my first elimination round was against Therese from Norway. HEIAN SANDAN.
i was RED, all 5 judges voted red. PHEW.
second was against Nikki, a friend i made from Scotland.
i was WHITE this time, again all judges voted WHITE. HENG AH.
third round, my friend Rosemary from South Africa. ok...i'll admit, i was scared, she was good.
i was RED. when the judge blew the whistle, the 2 judges in front of me voted red, but i couldn't see the 2 behind. i was so nervous, it felt like an hour. then the chief judge raised his flag. RED. OH MY LIFE. I WAS INTO THE FINALS!!! YAY YAY. i found out later that all 5 judges voted RED, woot.
but i lost my nerve in the finals which really pisses me off, but ya know, i'll live. next time, i'll do better.
8th's good. X)
Kumite was horrid. i'm so glad i was eliminated in the earlier rounds. even with that, i still managed to bruise and bloody my left shin, as in literally bloody my left shin. i have no idea how the skin tore. but the bruise went all the way to the bone yo. the medics thought it was fractured or broken at first cos everything went numb. girls had bloodied noses, carried off on stretchers with oxygen masks etc.. man... it was VICIOUS.
some guy even popped his collar bone, it was one of the most horrifying sights i've seen up to date.
so after all that, i went to this function at one of the convention centres in the middle of nowhere at the olympic park. not much food though.. sigh.. i love my food.. especially when i hadn't had a proper meal the whole day. didn't get lunch cos the queues were way too long. so that was that.

anyway, the rest, i'll tell you if you come and find me and ask me, cos i don't really wanna bore you with more details or continue, cos then this entry might never end. haaha. and dinner calls. so, YES. i'm BACK, bigger than ever mateys. SO WATCH OUT. XD

i'm going.

2006-08-14T08:50:00.000-07:00

well, ta ya'll. i'll be back in a week. going to get my ass whooped and hopefully not for nothing but for something...like shiny and big. ahhaa.

right. well. i'll be back. i kinda miss not being able to stay put long enough. but after this trip, yeh, i'll be staying put for a long while.

but at least it's sydney this time and not bangkok again. well... cheerios.
have fun, but not too much fun, i don't wanna miss out
and as someone said: don't do anything i wouldn't do.

packing packing. how tedious.
i'll be back on monday Terminal 2, 5.45pm(most probably drag on til 6pm), flight SQ232, for anyone who might wanna come down.
NAMELY DISHA AND BEN and someone else i hope'll be there (but you probably won't see this post and you need to study anyway).

sigh.
well, til then...
cheers.

shout out.

2006-08-13T14:10:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY LEON 'LEMON' OEI!!
you MOBS.

have an awesome day! X)

from the one and only 'AMYLEE'.

i hate travelling.

2006-08-12T19:51:00.000-07:00

I'M BBAAACCCKKK...

i've been gone for like 4 days and everyone's gone NUTS. like INSANE, and absolutely NONSENSICAL. like what the *toot*??
(i notice i use the word "like" a lot of times.) *in a hillbilly accent* - for added effect: so amercanised yo.

ok anyway....
i'm back after 4 gruelling days in Bangkok. my limbs are dysfunctional. so for all those reading this and will probably see me in school on monday, some pointers:

1. DO NOT ASK ME TO CARRY BOOKS OR FILES OR OTHER HEAVY OBJECTS FOR YOU- anything more than 1kg is considered heavy. i believe the aunty at the fruit drinks stall has a weighing scale.

2. IF YOU DROP SOMETHING, DO NOT EXPECT ME TO PICK IT UP FOR YOU - you might end up having to pick me up instead

3. LIFTS aka elevators WILL BE MY BEST FRIENDS, DO NOT BLOCK EASY ACCESS TO IT - or be prepared to have your ass whooped. when there is a will, there is a way.

4. SLEEP DEPRAVATION WILL BE LIKELY, RESULTING IN QUEER MOOD SWINGS, HENCE, DO NOT GET ON MY BAD SIDE - that's normally the left.

5. BUY ICE CREAM FROM ME ON MONDAY - or face the wrath of MS SANGEETHA. take your pick. it'd probably make my day better too. (take note: be at canteen from 1.10-1.50pm. - key this into all mobile phones NOW)

6. IF YOU SEE PIMPLES ON MY FACE, DO NOT POINT THEM OUT. I'M NOT DAFT, I DO LOOK IN THE MIRROR BEFORE I COME TO SCHOOL - if you do point them out, so help me, you would have incurred the wrath of amy lim. hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

yes... just some pointers.

SO ... ANYWAY, on a lighter note,
i'm alive and other then the above mentioned, i'm feeling well.
i've missed everyone lots.
i'll be away from tuesday again.. for about a week. to kick BUTT. B-U-T-T. BUTT. (pardon me, i just watched Akeelah and the Bee on the plane.

sigh, not really looking forward to travelling again. i don't like being on a plane in general, makes me feel uneasy and i despise the smell planes have. ugh. makes me sick. and now with thewhole bomb plot, all the more a reason to feel uneasy. i have to be grateful at least it's aussieland i'm going and not europe. still.

this'd be the 6th time i'm packing to be away from home this year.
1st was when i went to Bangkok for Siam Karate Camp
2nd i went to NUS for Pre-U Seminar
3rd to Bangkok again to train with the Thai team and Omura Sensei
4th to KL for my grandfather's birthday
5th to Bangkok for training again, in which i just got back today

thus tuesday'd be the 6th time.
if we have an end of the year holiday, i might just faint.

anyone wants souvenirs? find me before monday's out.

don't speak.

2006-08-07T18:52:00.000-07:00

word spreads.
so you should know that if you spew something like that out, i'm bound to find out.
and when i do, things don't stay pleasant.
of course i'm not gonna go picking a fight with you.
the fact that you wanted to pick a fight with me, you already lost.

just watch what you say,
just because i won't pick a fight with you,
doesn't mean my friends won't.

what goes around comes around.
karma'll hit you hard in the ass when you aren't looking.
i don't need to assist it.

to pipe.

2006-08-06T22:11:00.000-07:00

If I had to
I would put myself right beside you
So let me ask
Would you like that?
Would you like that?

And I don't mind
If you say this love is the last time
So now I'll ask
Do you like that?
Do you like that?

NO!!

Something's getting in my way
Something's just about to break
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane
So tell me how it should be

Try to find out what makes you tick
As I lie down
Sore and sick
Do you like that?
Do you like that?

There's a fine line between love and hate
And I don't mindJust let me say that I like that
I like that

Something's getting in my way
Something's just about to break
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane
As I burn another page
As I look the other way
I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane
So tell me how it should be

Desperate, I will crawl
Waiting for so long
No love, there is no love
Die for anyone
What have I become

Something's getting in the way
Something's just about to break
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane
As I burn another page
As I look the other way
I still try to find my place
In the diary of Jane

The Diary of Jane - Breaking Benjamin

you know that thing called friendship? you're so bad at it, i have nothing to say. thanks for ruining one thing i so strongly believed in. YOU.

you told me you'd never hurt me.
you told me you'd pick up the pieces if i broke.

you know who you are.

.

pondering. wondering.

2006-08-06T15:30:00.000-07:00

since the beginning of this year, i've seen people change, myself included.
but i find it amusing to see how different people have become and i tend to humour myself by observing them and taking note of any... more...prominent situations. there is no good or bad to it, just change. it's not definite and it cannot be measured, one would be ignorant to read it as such.

you know how in the first 3months of junior college life, every gets real close and bonded and then the second intake comes in. the second intake is, to me, refreshing. i recall how a particular dear soul came up to me one break and started lambasting away at how irritated and absolutely frustrated he/she was at 2 other dear souls and how he/she abhorred the idea that they were all taking the same subjects and one happened to be in his/her form class. that was in March. Now, it is July already, and he/she cannot stay away from those 2 souls. they're always seen together.
in my opinion, i'd say that's a good change. it's always better to have less enemies. one less enemy is one less battle needed to be fought.

then you have those who absolutely hated the idea of going to ACJC, and dreaded every minute from the moment he/she alighted from the vehicle to the moment he/she sat down in the hall and had to sit through countless talks. i stand guilty. well, seated actually, since i am typing this. but now, i sit corrected. i may not be as pro-ACJC as others or as into the whole Methodist - Christian culture, even though i am by the religion on my birth certificate, a Christian, i feel for the school... or more accurately, i feel for the people in the school. the ones who've made my life so enjoyable for the last 8 months. i couldn't have asked for anything different.

i was reminiscing a while back and my dad quite suddenly questioned: if you could go back in time and do it all over again, how would you have done it?
and i replied: i wouldn't have changed a thing.

there are bad times, good times, weird times, queer times (happening more often nowadays, we wonder why HAHA.), loving times (yes, i love you too.), agitated times, frustrated times, ecstatic times, mugging times (heh heh heh, i say what?), etc....
if i were to go back and change things, i might not have met you, i might not have learnt what i have, i'd be a sheltered naive child with no clue as to what the world could offer.
time paradox.
sure, i might've been hurt less often, but that'd mean i'd have been missing out on so much more.

i guess i'm going into this whole reflective mood, 'cause there's so many activities abuzzing that i just need time to let out my thoughts. nothing's wrong with me, really, although i might seem a bit more moody in school than usual.

quoting, "just whack".

the pain... literally..

2006-08-04T20:25:00.000-07:00

oh my muscles... my poor poor muscles.
it has become like.. walk ow walk ow walk ow.
stairs and i aren't on good terms. neither are slopes.
i need a massage...desperately.

double GP followed by double Chinese.. then single break, Biology test - DNA & Genomics, single Math, single break, then came single Chemistry (Ms Ng was absent, so we got an extremely funny teacher Mrs Tan-Lim, whose memory for names is frightfully accurate), then Project Work, which is the bane of my existence next to Econs. ew.

then i proceeded to limp all the way to Oldham Wing's staffroom 3 to get my duffel bag from Ms Azlina's cubicle. she's so so so so so nice and sweet for letting me dump my duffel bag there. i didn't want to have to go lugging it around all day. haha. THANKS DISHA, for helping me carry the blazer and assisting me in my attempt to climb stairs in the morning.

then... met Krish at the pull up bars where we bumped into Jit, who started nagging Krish to study, YAY JIT. do it more often.

so the old man and i went to town... mainly cause he lives there and i had training there. again, i hate slopes. AHHHH.. and stairs.. AAAHHHH. ok.

training was fine... except my legs cramped up midway through a kick and i collapsed, how embarrassing... thankfully no one saw except my coach. phew.

anyway... i'm like... having a pretty good week.. A for GP test, B for Chem test, I'M ONA ROOLLLLLL... picking up from terms. my term grades were like the sound an ambulance makes. i've been going for ssp's every other day. sigh yo. but i mean, i'm starting to study.. the feeling's good, where you actually know how to answer the question and the fella next to you doesn't... ok, pure evil i know... but Will was sitting next to me, so that analogy doesn't really apply, YOU ONE SMART ASS. hahaha. no really, he's SO SMART, HE'D MAKE EINSTEIN FEEL STUPID. haha. hardworking too.

okok, i think i'll go die on my bed.

just some thoughts.

2006-08-03T19:50:00.000-07:00

yesterday, one of the graduands of acjc 2005 came back to share with us during chapel and well, let me just give you a rough background on her life.
just before her promos in J1, her mother passed away from a stroke and just before her A level examinations, her father suffered from kidney failure. as if that weren't enough, she also happened to be colourblind, which is, as she put it, "rare for a girl". this did not stop her from taking chemistry and biology which as all science students would know, requires you to state colour changes etc., and pass her driving test on her first attempt, considering she is red-green colourblind. she told us about how she managed to overcome her obstacles and though i'm not one known for appreciating dramatic and cheesy and cliched moments, i will admit that she really made me sit up and listen. it wasn't because i was feeling sympathy for her, like the guy sitting in front of me, nor was i thinking "that must suck!" like the girl behind me who exclaimed rudely: "HER LIFE IS SO SCREWED UP MAN."

when i heard that, the first thing that came to mind was, pardon my finch, "how the eff would you know what screwed up is? screwed up is your attitude towards her."

i just felt admiration for her. sincere admiration. it was that feeling that read: i want to be like her. not that i want to have family problems or mishaps, i just want to be as strong as she is. to be able to have gone through so much and yet be as capable as any other individual and perhaps even more talented than those who aren't colourblind, it just makes you want to say: BOOYA!
haha. something along those lines anyway.

well, she's going on to be the pioneer batch of nurses to get a bachelor in the sciences. her mother was a nurse.

that aside, i managed to make it through auditions unscathed, and i've gotten in for the main speaking cast and dances for Beauty and the Beast (end of year production), so..BOOYA. haha. ya'll HAVE TO COME AND SUPPORT AIGHT? ahaha. it's the queerest script i've read all year. but the dances are awesome. haha. but the fact i'll be missing 2 dance rehearsals worries me. i do want to get a nice part.

anyway, here are some of the wonderful people in it:
aini
cecilia
liying
adeline
DISHA!!!
maggie
kritty
chinny
ji dan kenneth - maybe
vicky
benC
tuhsar - perhaps not say, "WONDERFUL"... lol. oops.
noel
glory
rose

and many many more that i just cannot remember at this point of time. cos i really should be studying for bio, which is stuck in my head. THE GENETIC CODE.. it is degenerate, a triplet code, universal, punctuated and non-overlapping!! heeez.

i love the boy with the bio innate talent. or so he says.

this is for you.

2006-07-31T21:13:00.000-07:00

it is strange that i should do an act like this, but i feel compelled to do so. not because of any obligations, not because of influence, but purely because i want to.

i respect your privacy, i respect who you are, what you do and every aspect of your nature - the flaws, the imperfections, the intelligence, the humour and the diligence you have. i respect, the person.

i shall choose to speak from a more personal perspective, as it would probably convey my thoughts and emotions better. to be a friend, is a choice made by the individual. if someone were to claim to be your friend but ask for something in return, then he or she is no friend at all. friends are there because they want to be, they choose to be, not because they want something out of it.

to me, i will not stay too near, such that he or she feels suffocated and enclosed, yet, i will not stay too far to make him or her feel alone and isolated. i will stay just near enough that he or she can call me when i am needed, and far enough for when he or she would rather be by oneself. i know that to you, self-reliance is the way to go, that to depend on others is showing signs of complacency, of weakness, perhaps i've read it all wrong, then you can choose to correct me.

this is my opinion on self-reliance. it is more of a way to maintain one's individuality, to not succumb to the influences of our fast-paced conformed society. however, there is a fine line between self-reliance and completely isolating one's self and refusing to depend on any soul for the fear of having to do a favour in return. maintaining one's individuality and going into complete solitude are 2 very different things.

as Ralph Waldo Emerson said: "It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude."

there is a limit to self-reliance. on a more crude note, did you rely purely on yourself to grow up? to nurture your talents? to get the grades you've gotten? being capable and self-reliant are not the same.

it is not a crime to rely on someone. neither is it a bad thing.

i understand where you are coming from. i know what you mean. i can empathize. maybe it's just a phase, but i would like to see the old person back, the one i was fond of.

you do not owe us, or me, anything. the journey thus far has been a pleasure and it's not going to be over any time soon.

trust me.

"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough." - Frank Crane

what happened.

2006-07-30T10:49:00.000-07:00

you know how sometimes, people just get up and leave you behind?
the feeling is the pits.
you don't know where you went wrong, you don't know what to do.

i don't get what's happened to you. one moment your my best bud, my homie and the next second, you're ignoring me, hanging out with bad company and treating me like i ain't worth shit. well, thanks bro. sometimes, people just need wake up calls, to see who's worth their time and effort...
and who's not.

that aside...

i'm f***ing grounded. great yo. i told the (as he with the sexy love handles puts it, which i find hilarious) PARENTAL UNITS, about my grades and they laughed, and when my teacher tells them my grades, they kick me out of bed and blow up at me. and my teacher... ok, i ain't got nothing to say to him/her. he/she just got me into a whole lotta dirt saying stuff that i never said to him/her. petooey. so now, i can't watch tv (DAMN. it's not like i ever did before, just thursdays and sundays = 4 hours in total A WEEK.), 1/2 hour of msn a day (msn, pssh, whatever, makes no diff to me.), no going out with my friends (SHIT ASS.) and just study.. (EEEWWWW).

so, everything really stinks right now.

like karate. man, i used to love it, now it's all about winning. stupid mofo **&!?*&(&!!?$$#&)()&(&&??. i mean... they told me it'd be for the experience, for the heck of it. now they're telling me i gotta win something. i mean... aargh... is that all that this is about? my knees are injured so bad, i have problems walking up and down stairs. and now they want to send me for a few days in bangkok to train AGAIN. i mean, GIVE IT UP already. i'm FED UP. it'd be the 5th time i'm packing to go away! ah... whatever.

i never get to make my own decisions. i don't get to choose the subjects i want to study, i don't get to choose what i want to be, i don't get to choose the friends i hang ou with (actually, i do choose my own friends, and you should hear what my parents have to say about that.) they say: "you always hang with the wrong crowd! how can you hang with all these failures who're failing their subjects as well? i don't like his face, i don't like her dressing, but she's not chinese!"

oh eff.

so much for democracy.

i do love you.

2006-07-27T21:36:00.000-07:00

I don't want a just a memory
Give me forever
Don't even think about saying goodbye
Cuz i want just one love to be enough
And remain in my heart till i die

So theres little more that i need
I wanna share all the air you breathe
I'm not the kinda girl to complicate the past
I want a love that will last

Forever
I want a love the love that will last
Always
I just want a love that will last
Want a love that will last

A Love That Will Last - Renee Olstead

it's funny how things sort themselves out after a while. it's strange how all we needed to do was talk it out. it's stupid how stupid we can be. it's embarrassing how childish it seems. it's queer how the cows and sheep live. X)

i love you.

guys have the "cooties".

2006-07-23T18:33:00.000-07:00

after all this time
I never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that I loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me died when I let you go

(Blind - Lifehouse)

i haven't let go, but man am i cheesed off.

speaking of cheese, had lunch with the band -1 (hamzah was awol - from us that is)
Carl's Jr. the amount of fat i consumed. i feel guilty. it's ok. PE tomorrow morning. portobello mushroom burger oh yesireee. guilty conscience kicking in.

mgs still hasn't sent my parents the invites. how annoying. grad ceremony on tuesday. whoopdeedoo. how...exciting. me in an oversized blazer and skirt (that's what happens when you leave things to the last minute. thanks anyway and a lot justin.)

i just can't concentrate on anything. can't seem to focus. the longest i managed to focus was to write: FIXED COST on my econs tutorial. then i lost it. attention span currently at a negative. i'm gonna put on weight. i eat when i'm... nvm..

why are you such a jackass!? this is just sooo..URGH. there isn't even a word for it!!? that's how... MAD i am. as in... frustrated angry kinda MAD. not insane. this is where my previous post, you guess which, loses it's validity. URGH. i just could punch something. if i was going into competition with this kind of.. emotional instability and mentality... i swear, no one can stop me. i'd whoop their ass inside out and upside down.

it's like fluctuations...
anger
helplessness
depression
restlessness
frustration...

nevermind. not making sense.
my favourite song of all time... has got to be OVERJOYED - STEVIE WONDER.

and i bet you wouldn't know it.

sigh...

this feeling again...

2006-07-22T23:30:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been in love, been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you dont know what to say and you dont know where to start

Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad you can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words but they dont come out right
Have you ever

Have you ever found the one you've dreamed of all your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world cuz baby I can't sleep

Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad you can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words but they dont come out right
Have you ever

(Have You Ever - Brandy)

i have.

ever try to earn a place in his heart. he tells you you've got it and he'll always be there. but you're never too sure. you trust him, but something just don't feel right, and you don't know what's wrong when everything seems right.

i'm just a stupid lil girl in her own world.

why?

lies. all lies.

2006-07-22T15:01:00.000-07:00

Did you get my message, the one I left
While I was trying to condense everything that I meant
In a minute or less when I called to confess
And make all of my stresses go bye-bye

Did you get my message, you didn't I guess
'cuz if you did you would have called me with your sweet intent
And we could give it a rest 'stead of beating my breast
Making all of the pressure go sky-high

Do you ever wonder what happens to the words that we send
Do they bend, do they break from the flight that they take
And come back together again with a whole new meaning
In a brand new sense, completely unrelated to the one I sent

Did you get my message?

(Did You Get My Message - Jason Mraz)

you know how people always say that they've emailed you something oh so long ago, or they did call and left a message, but you don't seem to recall any of those ever happening. lies i tell you. it's what runs the world. how utterly sinful. but i'm not complaining.

or am i?

how can one ever be sure if it's a lie or the truth, whether there is any truth in the lie or if there's a lie in the truth. just asking. when people tell you something, do you believe it immediately just because you saw it in the movies once and it worked out fine? like in the movie jerry macguire, the line: you had me at hello. OH REALLY NOW, i just somehow do not see that possibly happening in real life like it did in reel life. it's not a crime to be a cynic.

or is it?

makes one cautious.

i can never stay angry with him.

2006-07-10T18:30:00.000-07:00

i've been having a pretty tough day. i guess i'm to blame. lack of discipline to plant my butt in one spot and just..study. we learn. i'm kinda pissed with myself, cause i know i'm capable of so much more, but i can't seem to be able to push myself. teachers aren't helping either. i mean... there's no...motivation from them. ok, maybe it's just me. the only teacher capable of motivating me up to date is probably my GP teacher for the first 3 months. sadly i don't have her anymore. instead, i have a teacher who says DENOTATE a bomb, rather than DETONATE. oh sigh. shall we take away the footnotes too? disha says we need to "write it off". and i thought my jokes were bad. i just got a wake up call. might get a more violent one when my parents find out. IF they find out. they probably will. sigh. my teacher will call. i'll bet.

italy won. sigh. they should choke on their fettucini and die. nah, kidding. i like italian food. i'm just glad germany beat portugal. it's quite funny that they scored an OWN GOAL, thanks to portugal's PETIT. haha. and yes, i do still think LAHM, KLOSE AND PODOLSKI ARE SOOOO HOT. world cup's over, goodbye football guys, hello JOHNNY DEPP. Pirates of the Carribbean's out on the 13th of July. goody.

today was a fairly annoying day. and he didn't make it any better. rather, he really really... pissed me off. sigh. i mean, what he said was rather insensitive and made his EQ a negative. but you know, as much as i get pissed off with him, it never lasts. i saw him at the void deck while sitting with the canoeists. i just couldn't bring myself to be angry with him anymore, although he didn't really acknowledge me, but whatever. i still love him. i just hope he knows that. he gets rather insecure at times, probably not as much as me. heh.

just had chinese A level oral exam today. it was pretty ok. i think i should pass. i just kept talking. blah blah blah yak yak yak. yeh, kept talking. was sitting with glenn, jason and krystabella. majority of the group 049 was made up of my math tutorial classmates. the examiners called jason cute as in, adorable cute.. i need to tell him that when i see him tomorrow. haha. it'll help with his ego. packed up and walked out of the MPH just to see glenn and some others playing basketball. hah. guys.

played football in the rain today. tribute to the end of world cup. ah. the eyebags will now cease to exist.

for now.

exams are almost done.

2006-07-02T00:58:00.000-07:00

term exams are almost over. just one more math paper to go. a week has passed since i got back from bangkok. it has been, a strange week for me, yet particularly amusing at the same time.

suddenly i'm seeing all these random people i've never in the first 6 months of being in AC. it's like they've suddenly appeared out of the blue. how scary. haha. yet it is interesting to observe these.. "randoms" haha.

i went to school on the first day and i'd totally forgotten half the names of my friends/acquaintances. how very sad. i ended up calling all the females: woman, and the males: dude. my sincerest apologies. i have since been able to recall most of your names.

for the first time in almost 3 weeks, i actually got to spend time with a selectively loopy fella. "tis was good"

bangkok was an experience. something that despite all the pain, torture and being pushed to the limit and out of my comfort zone, was worth it. it's the feeling that i've actually accomplished something a few years ago i never thought i would have been able to. now the big one's coming. in august. i'm going to be rather.. unnerved, uncomfortable, uncertain... and agitated.. so... for those around me, please do understand why i may sometimes have a rather short fuse. do not... aggravate, or you're just asking for it.

the world cup fever is evident, ranging from every tom dick and harry with a beer belly wearing a brazil / england / germany / italy etc jersey to the coffee shops being unusually crowded, and the EXTREMELY... BULBOUS eye bags from lack of sleep. i, myself, am guilty for throwing my brain out the window and becoming a complete football fanatic for a period of 3 hours thereabout, just to watch friedrich lahm play against argentina (in which they won 2-1, you know, JUST BY THE WAY.) ah, germany. all right then. i shall stop.

why am i still awake?

leaving sooon...

2006-06-12T11:08:00.000-07:00

i'll be leaving soon for bangkok. approximately 1pm tomorrow (Tues 13 June). so much for a holiday. half of it is spent training! 4 hours a day... as mentally prepared as i am trying to be, i'm more worried about the physical stamina.. or lack thereof. heh heh.

about to leave the house to go for a PW meeting at city hall. hungry hungry. he complains i'm always hungry and always eating.. ah, that can't be denied. well, i really need to cut down. i don't wanna put on weight. so far i've been maintaining at a fairly satisfactory weight for my height. ah well. later on... outside paragon, gonna watch vik, krish and hazri perform / busk for SOMETHINGOOD -- the busking thingamagic. yeh. a lot of drama peeps are going.. laura, noel, yi jun, the madams, etc... yeh.. i'm sleepy.. aaaaa. woke up at 8.30am to start packing.. haven't really gotten that far. everything's still outside drying. thanks to the rain. most of the stuff in my suitcase are really schoolwork. term exams start the moment school reopen. soooo looking forward to it! can you feel the enthusiasm!! *&^&^$%#@!#!#$%^&%!~$#$*&^)(^!!!!! ok.

anyway, don't miss me too much yo. if ya a friend of mine and ya want something from bangkok, you have from now until tomorrow 1pm to tell me. if not, you can sms me while i'm there. i have auto-roaming.. but it's gonna cost ya 10 times more. lol.

will be back on 24 june. right before school starts. cheers yo.

i'm leaving tomorrow. sorry.

afraid

2006-06-06T13:17:00.000-07:00

feeling...fearful, of something. i know it'll probably not happen now, but there's always a possibiliy it might occur later. if it does, what am i supposed to do then? it's all very confusing. they are people i'll probably never see again, but they are people i see almost everyday.

ah. headache.
mmm...

i've learnt to love certain phrases...
1. what goes around, comes around.
2. revenge is a dish best served cold.
3. empty vessels make the most noise.
4. never trust a man when he's sober.
5. good things come in small packages. like diamond rings, keys to a ferrari etc.
6. i'm the same height as eva longoria. X)

i do love.

back from pre-u seminar

2006-06-03T16:50:00.000-07:00

just got back from pre-u seminar. ah.. the lovely lovely memories.

shawn - the hard gay maniac and great companion.
amelia - the sweet baby face and fellow gossip queen.
wan ching - the girl who looks like she puts mascara on everyday. (LOL.)
marianne - the one who saved me from YOU-KNOW-WHO at breakfast.

just to name a few.

one picture is worth a thousand words. so here are some few thousands and i won't need to type. lol.

right after watching our own film: THE KEYMAKER. (which came in top 3- we got a big fat hamper as a prize) they say it might be used and screened for public viewing. haha. anyway, this is Guerilla Film Crew 04 and some strayed members of 03. ahah.

shawn and i while waiting for the guest of honour to arrive.

amelia(I MISSS YOUUU!!) and i.

spot the people sleeping. haha.

just some ac people folks. clockwise from top left, gareth, farhan, priscilla, deanna, myself and cheryl.

trust hong fei to have such shaky hands. lol. marianne, serene and i.

Seminar Group 5

Guerilla Film Crew 04 and our hamper for the film HEHE.

an emo photo jeremiah took of me. thanks yo.

amelia and i again. haha.

i would call shawn to wake him up, and he would go wake noel up. basic routine in the mornings... ah..

nostalgia to the extreme.

2006-05-27T21:01:00.000-07:00

I was naive
Your love was like candy
Artificially sweet
I was deceived by the wrapping

And it hurts my soul
Cos I can't let go
All these walls are caving in
I can't stop my suffering
I hate to show that I've lost control
Cos I, I keep going right back
To the one thing that
I need to walk away from
I need to get away from it
I need to walk away from it
Get away, walk away, walk away

i've left you behind.
i've walked away and i'm not going back.
i'm not gonna go through all the s*** again.
you've got to be kidding me if you think i'll go back to the way things used to be.
just leave me be.
i'm happy where i am now.
very happy.

for one,
i love mobily fruit.
always will.

thinking...

2006-05-21T22:00:00.000-07:00

i'd forgotten how much i hate robertson walk past 7pm. well, i remembered yesterday. the booze, the smoke, the hookers, the drunkards, the absolute mayhem called CLUBBING, the lecherous and treacherous taxi drivers, and last but not least, the horrible karaoke screeching. ugh. remind me to never go there to watch a play (DBS Arts Centre) unless i have personal transportation home. the horrors.

i need bodyguards. not that i'm attractive or anything, but when molested, i don't think the attacker pays particular attention to the face. you just need a body. so i'm being paranoid, can you blame a girl who would prefer to stay in one piece and not have to whoop anyone's ass with karate moves?

so help me. today's been an extremely long dreary day. even the 3 episodes of CSI back to back didn't help. although i must say the singapore idol auditions did bring an evil grin to my face. though i think they overdid it with the bad ones. they should have shown more of the better singers an not cram them into the last 2 minutes. how unfortunate really. but that is MASS APPEAL. the world loves something bad they can laugh at. i'm no different.

emails keep bouncing on me. i hope the teachers got my essays. or i'm just going to flip.

my mum and brother are leaving for chicago and iowa tomorrow morning. sean has odyssey of the mind competition in iowa, and my mum's just tagging along. they'll be back on the midnight of next week monday. rather sad really. i won't see them for 2 weeks. yes, i can count. 2 weeks. because i'll be off to NUS on the afternoon of next week monday.

feeling frustrated -- i haven't been able to kill this mosy that's biting me in my room. feeling emo. feeling dizzy. feeling sleepy - that, however, might be due to ben waking me up at 8.30 in the morning to give him his jeans. you will die. feeling melancholy - that is becoming a habitual mood.

love me.

never trust a man when he's sober. ask him again when he's drunk.

what a day

2006-05-11T19:04:00.000-07:00

i survived. econs test and chem test. i've lived through the worst of this week.

i was told some of the sweetest words and phrases last night.
the kind that just makes your day/night.
the words you wanna hear for the rest of your life as cliched as it may sound.
mmm.

well. lunch with the band on sunday. dric's bald. haha.

my my. next few weeks and days are busy ones. let's see what i have written on my diary.
12 May - PW meeting
14 - lunch with band
15 - pre-u seminar meeting and dinner at Holland V
- Declan's birthday
16 - Ming Li's birthday
- NAPFA 5 item test
17 - math test
- SYF (gotta go down and support ACSian Theatre at Hwa Chong)
18 - Krish's birthday
- Heng Bin's birthday
19 - Jie Si's birthday
20 - pre-u seminar dry run for presenters at NUS.
- Theasthai (DEP Monologue exam. yes yes, ALL YOU PEOPLE called kritboon, denise, chin hua, deanna, disha, maggie, tushar, etc, i'll try to make it down. QUIT BUGGING ME ALREADY).
- Khok Yen's and Shaun's party
22 - Khok Yen's birthday
26 - Shaun's birthday
- Restless 3 (ACJC dance night)
27 - AIDS Convention .. some drama thingy
28 - pack stuff
29 May-- 2 June - Pre-University Seminar at NUS
2 June - ACS Idol at barker
nothing until....
13 -- 24 - Bangkok training trip.
DAMN.
TALK ABOUT NOT HAVING TIME TO MYSELF and to spend with people/person/persons. yeh. how annoying.
crap. talking about training.
i have it now
OH I'M SO LATE.

help

2006-05-10T20:29:00.000-07:00

i'm feeling so annoyed.
i'm gonna fail every test possible to fail. namely chem and econs. they're insane. testing those 2 subs on the same day. AH.

can somebody PLEASE TELL ME HOW THE HECK YOU USE MOBLOG. i think it's sooo dumb. it won't even let me sign in! i keep logging in and it keeps konking out on me and shit. HOW ANNOYING. like pot would say: WHAT THE PONG!
we have to use it for Pre U Seminar to "get to know" our groupmates. mmmm
i'm in the same group with one AJC guy, CJC guy and girl, HCI guy and girl, a JJC girl and an MJC guy and girl. i'm the only ACJC person in the group. darn. nvm nvm, make new friends.
we're supposed to join the GUERILLA FILM CREW 04 for a project. a short film to be made in 10 hours. my life.
-.- it is seriously irritating the life out of me and my patience only lasts so long...

we had the Pre U Seminar briefing at SRJC today. it was quite funny. especially when we got to watch some short films made by youths who took part in FLY BY NIGHT film competition. the theme was FEVER. they took creativity to a whole new level. especially HUAT SIO. that was hilarious! the whole LT was in fits of laughter.

we sat in front of the RJC students. how intimidating.. i think... well.. no actually, not quite. ha.
then we had a dry run of our presentation. the laptop decided to konk out on us so.. there goes farhan's wonderful flash presentation. oooo well. we then stayed behind to watch HCI present. something about china and it's global economy. i can't quite remember. my bad. gerald was disturbing me see. AHA. nah nah, kidding, he was real nice and lent me his jacket cos i was cold and being nervous didn't help. but all went well. YAY. the facilitator loved it. so goody.

the speaker PAK MAN who did the intro and conclusion, from HCI. i don't think i spelt his name right, but as far as i heard, it's pronounced like that. he spoke pretty well, no offence to HCI, it's just people normally stereotype them to be incapable of speaking the english language, you know: chinese high - english low. i, of course, beg to differ. i know some people who're supposedly EXPERTS in the english language but sound like ahem, CHEENA AH BENGS. so anyway, this guy spoke well. he sounded rather like the anchorman on channel news asia, just with a slightly heavier chinese accent.

i kinda wished they'd have actually let us meet our group members in person rather than over moblog. i don't fancy getting to know someone over the internet and a mobile blogging system. daft.
yes i'm gonna complain about this moblog thing til the cows come home. moo.
at least we get to use a NOKIA N70 phone to video (sponsored by some company? i can't remember which). my bad.

friday is vesak day. i say HOLIDAY. yeh mun, yeh.

i'm gonna go out shuorty. and train too.

PW is a waste of my already wasted existence. PI, GPP, and all the nonsense along with it.

i'm me

2006-05-08T23:52:00.000-07:00

i'm not her.
stop telling me about her.
it hurts.
my reactions are fake.
i'm me.
no more.
please.

torn.
why do you do this to me...
can't you see...?

leave me be.

2006-05-05T20:20:00.000-07:00

happy birthday justin tan!
blessed day. what's left of it anyway.

met hamzah at harbourfront. his hairstyle now.. i sooo sexy. i just need to tell everyone.
seriously.
sexy.
love it. <3

choices are really of the individual. i wish they'd let me make my own.
i'm tired.
rise and fall or fall from grace, rise again. makes no sense.
i don't really make cents.
wish i'd make dollars.
then i'd be a friggin' millionaire.
then maybe i'd get to make my own decisions...
nah.
ain't happening.

i miss people.
i miss a person.
thanks for that small gesture today, i needed it.
get well disha.
lunch tmr.
if you can step, you're fine...
if ya gotta roll...
we need a contractor.
i think there's a dent in the floor.

it's ok if you don't get what i'm writing.
thoughts going through my head...
quickly
and
randomly.
everything's rather disjointed.

i shall watch tv.
call me...
lethargic.

they're back

2006-05-01T18:42:00.000-07:00

i was reminded of some things i did before, today. some things which i deeply regret doing. some things that i know would disappoint you. i can only hope you won't be hurt. i will tell you if you ask me, but you must promise me that you will still accept me as who you see me now. i'm not pretending. what you see is what you get. i am really this way. i wish certain events had never occured, or that i'd been in situations i could not get out of, so that i'd be somewhat, more ideal a person. i am ashamed of my past behaviour, the things i said and did, but that was all before. i hope you can see the difference.

before i knew you'd be more.

i wish i could forget all those things that happened to me or otherwise. i wish people could forget them too. but that's not possible. i must come to terms with it, and accept the consequences. the hurt, the pain, the irritation and what not, whether gained or caused.

justin said in jest that i'd never been innocent. i'm beginning to find truth in that statement, i can only hope i'm making a mountain out of a molehill. as compared to what others have done, my crimes would seem insignificant, but that does not make me better than them. i still did something wrong.

i need to let go.

you need to let go.

i cannot hold on to the past. always wondering what might have happened had i done things differently. i don't mean i should forget - though i wish i could, but rather, to come to terms with it and let go. what i've done in the past, i've done. i can regret all i want to and i can apologize all i want, but the fact is, i'd done it. so i can only make the best of it. please, let go. i am not the person sitting at delifrance or dancing on stage. i am the person who is standing beside you and tripping over the next step or walking into walls.

waiting.

i have to stop all this nonsense. i need to get my life sorted out and start walking on my path. the path i was on but veered off halfway.

cruzing along.

i know where i'm going.

... but i'll need help. would you?

ever get that feeling?

2006-04-28T20:59:00.000-07:00

at a Metro Paragon sale, you see these signs that read:

"I've got a I don't need it, I just want it, kinda feeling."

"I've got a I want to spend some money, kinda feeling."

it would traumatise my dad.
thank heavens he wasn't there.

"...kinda feeling."
lately, i've been feeling melancholy. as far as i know, that doesn't normally mean a good thing. i do enjoy the company of friends, but i somehow prefer just being by myself. everything's just been going so fast. i just wanna be able to sit at the bleaches or at the library once in a while without someone msging me or finding me for assignments, reminding me of deadlines, wanting my company, or myself having to rush off to every other part of the school looking for people.

i think i need a breather.

i'm stressed out. i can barely keep my eyes open. i'm in the middle of a biology lecture and my eye starts twitching from lack of sleep. i'm having problems focusing on the simplest things like trying to read a book or doing a basic algebraic equation. people are just so irresponsible. they know what they have to do, they know, and yet i have to remind them over and over again. it's not like we have all the time in the world. if we did, i wouldn't give a fuck when you all replied or did your assignments. you people don't even have the decency to reply msgs just to let me know if you're going to attend the meeting. really. and don't tell me to "chill". just do your job an quit whining.

"bie li de gu shi" (yes, i do know chinese.)

chinese class today. a couple of stories from the textbook we were given. ben was talking about them, in particular the second story. i don't know. i think he's right. but i ain't saying anything. i just need... i need reassurance. i'm having doubts. i keep waiting. i'll always be waiting. i only hope it doesn't turn out the same. i don't need to go through the whole rollercoaster again. been there, had that, don't need it again. soon, i can only hope.

i think i'll go plonk around on the piano.

omg

2006-04-25T21:09:00.000-07:00

i lost my wallet. then kenneth took it, AND HE DIDN'T TELL ME TIL JUST! i could shoot him, but i'm damn happy he's got it and not anyone else. hah. THANK YOU KENNETH.

tempest is over!

2006-04-12T18:30:00.000-07:00

"we are such stuff as dreams are made on~"

OMG. TEMPEST IS OVER. there are pros and cons. for one, now that it's over, i can actually concentrate on my studies. i really need to catch up 'cause i'm lagging behind quite bad, from skipping school and the long hours of rehearsals. BUT. tempest was such fun. although, you tend to annoy and get annoyed by people a lot more easily 'cause everyone's in this "mood", it was a lot of fun.

the week into the actual shows, was not one of my better weeks. problems at home, the screaming, the scolding, the fighting, the cursing and swearing.. etc. was a really difficult week for me, but thanks to some people, you know who you are, i managed to cope pretty well. yep. embarrassed myself a couple of times when i broke down in front of everyone when i answered certain phone calls, but thanks for not.. making me feel awkward. anyway, here are some photos of THE TEMPEST, BEHIND THE SCENE. the ghastly makeup, the outrageous hair (mine done oh so beautifully by Lindis, with occasional assistance from Janiah), the warm up gear, the aching muscles, and the much needed sleep. haha. right.

the most wonderful skank and i. Hazri, you're damn adorable and hot ok. thanks so much for the note.

i think we just look so so so so so SEXY. don't you agree? i bet you do. Chin Hua - the Fairy King, myself - the Fairy Goddess (i felt like a fruit), Disha - the Fairy Gangsta and Noel - the Fairy Submarine.

my old man. he's 69. X)

2 fairies and a courtier. Maggie, myself and Aini.

to all those who came down to support, like half my class 1SC8 I LOVE YOU GUYS! thanks for the flowers, especially Ben!!, Ms Azlina my form teacher, Josiah and gang, Justin and gang, Kok Swee (omg, thank you for the flowers), Quan Rong, Reuben, Dharsh (the bouquet was luvlay!) and so many many others, sorry if i missed your name out.

thanks for supporting ACSian Theatre's The Tempest. X)

nothing much lately

2006-04-02T21:12:00.000-07:00

well.. nothing much has gone on lately. just the typical affairs of the heart, affairs of the aching muscles, or lack thereof and plenty plenty rehearsals. lol.

i'll be skipping like the whole of next week of school. going in on monday morning, die at mass PE, and then by 1.10pm, i'm out of school and into theatre til show ends. which is saturday.

those who still want to go for it, and i suggest you do, pls contact me and let me know. like ASAP, or forever hold your peace.

sleepy sleepy.
yesterday, i had rehearsals til 6, followed by a meeting with pre u seminar presenters, HONESTLY, priscilla, darling, I COULD STRANGLE YOU. you left me with the 5 guys. -.- obviously not much work was done. -.- they were gaying around more than half the time. tsk. especially gerald and bernard. GET A ROOM YA'LL. ew. ew. ew. ew. ew. only farhan behaved. ok. but it was fun.
i really wanted to go TRIBUTE TO BROADWAY and watch michael perform. he actually shaved! as dinesh so happily pointed out -.- he looked a DECADE younger. but i prefer him with his beard and moustache. i wanted to go... but couldn't go.. sucks.

i think i shall go watch CSI now. adieu.

finally.

2006-03-22T23:27:00.000-08:00

ok, we've finally set up a blog of our own.

C.O.S at
http://caseofstairs.blogspot.com

do tag, the tagboard looks gross empty. but if you have nothing nice to say, then don't tag. i'd rather it be empty than be filled with language from foul mouthed people.

tempest rehearsals are gonna be in full swing starting friday. woe is me.

new class, new people. sigh.

2006-03-21T18:42:00.000-08:00

well, it's the second day of term 2, and already things aren't looking too bright. i really miss my old class, 1SD2. and suddenly, our time tables look a lot fuller, and school ends a lot later.

i mean, i'm all right with my current class, although rather quiet and not as "bonded" as my previous class, but they're still a fun lot. too many chinese names though. like..darn. i'm so bad at them.

i'm having trouble selling my Tempest tickets, 'cause the moment people hear that it costs 25 bucks, they immediately walk away, turn away or do some form of movement in the "away" direction. -.- boo.

well, here's what i did during my "march holidays"

saturday: training
sunday: nothing
monday: training
tuesday: science research symposium (which i ponned halfway through), towning with schoolmates
wednesday: deliver tempest posters to various places like MOE and DBS Arts Centre, training, piano
thursday: training
friday: training, met jeremy chan, hamzah and pok vyn to watch Floor Skillz (Aug's crew was competiting, you guys rock man.!)
saturday: training
sunday: buy a new pair of shoes

how fun -.-. well, back to school, i lost 1.5kg and grew 1cm when taking height and weight for PE. hah. happy me.

photos from some events

2006-03-13T17:56:00.000-08:00

yay yay. i now have some photos to show. haha. various random photos of schoolmates, friends, etc.

ok, this is deb and i, i'm crossdressing in an acs(i) uniform. manz, you guys have it good. i wanna wear pants to school!!

deanna, myself and deb at bibi & baba totally messing up the place. lol. we had help. ahem. you people know who you are.

aha. funorama preparations! noel the submarine, amy the shorty, krish the durian. LOL. they're such mobs. haha.
haha, sweetie (in this case sweatie) pie jeraldine and i at the bleaches doing posters.

MY WONDERFUL CLASS. most of them anyway. haha. 1SD2. gonna miss you guys when they reshuffle us into different classes. TSK. SEE. THAT'LL TEACH YOU GUYS NOT TO CHOOSE THE SAME COMBI AS ME. lol. okok, clockwise starting from the guy in navy blue: joel, hui zhen (buttock face), jeraldine (tofu face), jinye, mandy, chin hua (our very feminine but lovable chihuahua), shaun (banana man) and the two aunties in yellow and white talking on the phone are nina and amerlyn respectively.

people missing in the photo: me (duh, i'm taking it right), kai quan (our class president!! yes sir mr president! he's also our walking, talking General Knowledge book.), deborah(the drama mama, deanna (the other drama mama), darren (the skinny, funny guy), gary (mary chia), kenneth (my butler who ponned school again), jocelyn (cathau, kenneth's maid. i'm like the overall employer), yu ting, mindy and joy

myron!! aha. my ogl.
krish and i. aha, he's such a showoff in his dad's army uniform. lol.

THE BAND~! C.O.S !! love ya guys. Rage Against The Serene was awesome. pity is, my cousin's no longer part of C.O.S, you read right, declan has got too many commitments and thus can no longer perform for us, so we currently have an opening for a bassist. anybody interested, please feel free to approach me.

The Tempest

2006-03-06T19:21:00.000-08:00

ACSian Theatre presents
William Shakespeare's

THE TEMPEST

Dates: 6th - 8th April 2006 (Thursday - Saturday)

Times: 8pm on 6th and 7th
2pm and 8pm on 8th

Price: $25

Venue: DBS Arts Centre - Home of the Singapore Repertory Theatre

Free Seating

C.O.S was just oh so hot.

2006-03-04T00:40:00.000-08:00

YES. TONIGHT WAS THE NIGHT.

i just got back from makan at al ameen. just opposite beauty world. man, egg and kosong plus milo dinosaur, the bomb.

it was C.O.S's DEBUT performance. i say... we were so hot! yes we were. i'm biased, so sue me. but it was just wow, the adrenalin, the crowd, yesiree, it was good.

we played:
Photograph - Nickelback (yes dinesh, we'll see about that recording. haha)
The Importance Of Being Idle - Oasis
Fall To Pieces - Velvet Revolver ( our favourite)

some screamed for an encore, but, SO SORRY, we weren't prepared for an encore. although we had another song in mind, we only played it once before and weren't confident of performing it. we only perform the best. haha. so yes, so so so extremely sorry.

despite blown amps and malfunctioning moniters due to a mishap with another band, and the fact that NONE of us could hear jeremy CAUSE OF THE BLOODY BLOWN AMPS, and other really stupid and nonsensical issues, it was.. AWESOME.

but honestly, as cheesy and cliche as it sounds, it was a team effort, my life, what would i do without DECLAN, JEREMY, EDRIC AND HAMZAH. you guys just rock my world. thank you thank you thank you.

last but not least, my thanks to all those who came down to support us, like deborah, chin hua, kritboon, irshad, deanna, declan's other bandmates and schoolmates, hoe ren, my parents who braved the noise pollution, for those who screamed for us, especially the guy who screamed for hamzah, thanks, but hamzah says he ain't gay, and many many others. thanks for your compliments and encouragements in the form of screams, shrieks, shouts, very loud whispers, etc.

everqueer was awesome too, bloody stupid amps, krish couldn't be heard too well. but still, awesome none the less. aphrodisiac was good too, they did an original, haha, andrew's solo, woot, and leon's solo, WOAH. haha. NEXT TIME (yes there will be a next time) NEXT TIME, I'M FORCING PIPE TO DO A DRUM SOLO, he's just so good and cute. haha.

the only thing that bugs me is the amps, it just like... doesn't do the guys any justice. but whatever it is, still, great.

this was awesome. how the heck am i gonna sleep tonight.

WE GOT IN.

2006-02-27T22:10:00.000-08:00

we got in. yes we did. so we'll be playing. C.O.S is gonna be playing at...

RAGE AGAINST THE SERENE (it's a gig for those who're clueless)
3rd March 2006, Friday
7.30pm
ACJC Rooftop Garden
tickets going at $5. (COME GET FROM ME)

yes everyone, please come and support us. sms me or call me or whatever and i'll be glad to sell you a ticket. very lovingly designed by leon. krish and leon will both be playing as well as many others.

Arts Night was awesome, for those who didn't go, TOO BAD. heeeh. krish was looking hot and smooth, deo and stephan were poppin' it like it's HOT, zheng hao was jugglin' it. booya. great show guys.

FUNORAMA IS OVER.

2006-02-20T11:35:00.000-08:00

indeed, funorama is over, and it went from being funD-o-rama to fuN-o-rama in the end. kudos to that. X)

saw a whole load of people that day. people i haven't seen in decades to the extent i thought they died or something. friends like Jeannifer, Mok, Hui Kee, Mich, Piong, Pot (accompanied by a very special someone else. HEHE.), and many many more. despite my left foot having been crushed by the almighty force of my mum's heel, i still managed to limp my way around the compound and scare the living daylights out of myself with haunted houses. ugh. i was clinging on to whoever was within arm's reach (my apologies to krish, xi liang, hazri and jit if i bruised your arms, wasn't on purpose. heh heh heh). anyway, the otah's were selling so so well! i swear, we even had to turn away customers! that was quite sad really. we wish we could have catered to all orders, but we couldn't. sigh. oh well.

anyway, school ended oober early today, like at 9.45am. and now i'm getting ready to go out with schoolmates to buy our school uniforms! how exciting! hehehe. ok, that sounded terribly unlike me.. i shall brood some more later. for now, CHEERIO.

is it for real?

2006-02-15T23:27:00.000-08:00

you know how if you happen to look up at the sky on a certain cloudy night, searching for a lone star that might shed some light on you, and you spot one just above you...

then it starts to move.. and you wonder if it's a shooting star. BUT you notice it's moving too slowly to be a shooting star. then, you realise..

it's an aeroplane.

HOWEVER, if you are lucky enough and do spot a lone star, you feel content and you feel overwhelmed by the beauty it possesses.

is this a lone star i'm seeing or an aeroplane?

love is a cursed emotion.

2006-02-06T22:35:00.000-08:00

i just read through some emails and looked through some photographs.. and.. it struck me that love is a cursed emotion.

love makes you feel like you're high on marijuana.
makes you feel really good about yourself.
makes you feel like you're on top of the world.
makes you feel like you can do anything.
...
then it makes you realise that's why you're in jail.

love infects your immune system.
it decides have a little stay.
it helps you slowly rot and decompose.
it opens the door for you.
back into the nothingness from which you came.
all because of a single virus, called love.

i need to get over everything.

state of mind

2006-01-27T18:38:00.000-08:00

rumours about me going around school started by a girl who is honestly too bored and has absolutely no life. being told by teachers that they never want to see me again after my O level results come out (especially the chinese teacher), feeling so lonely despite having people around me...

i wouldn't be surprised if i go into a state of depression...

my head's reeling from everything. sometimes i even feel my heart drop. it may just be a sensation, but it feels like my heart is literally dropping.. and then it shatters. my head feels like it's ready to explode, all my brain matter pushing against the inner walls of my skull, applying pressure, ready to crack it apart and ooze out and spill over onto the wooden floor of my room.

i gaze out into nothing and wonder how much there is...

i'm physically and emotionally injured, stressed, stretched... everything will go numb one day.. sooner or later. sometimes i wish sooner. it might hurt less. to see everything pass you by, but not feeling a thing. to live a life that was never meant to be, but was to be, because of the choices i made, or the choices others made for me.

i will never truly understand...

the concept of friendship is dumbfounding. the thought that you might trust someone with everything you have, only to find everything you have, non-existent. the thought that people, yes, people, might be the destruction of their very kind, due to the inability to do one single action. to be real friends. not saying that friends do not exist, but then again the definition of friendship has been twisted and warped into something completely different, that is difficult to fully comprehend it anymore.

it is better to be alone...

is it really better to be alone? is it something that will make one better or worse or does it make a difference at all. to be alone.. is to live in solitude, isolation. never needing to depend on anyone, yet not being entirely independent either. it is entirely confusing and nonsensical.

i'm in a bad state of mind...

woe is me.

2006-01-25T21:55:00.000-08:00

fell into a drain. literally. leg is really swollen. damn bruising.

BUT.

somewhat like my limb,
something else is bruised worse.
it's cut, it's bleeding, it's seeping...
into the floorboards, to haunt my memory.
the stains of the rain, the tears, the pain.
don't notice, don't mention, don't hear the cries.
everything's spreading, it's getting so deep.

what a bloody mess...

r.i.p. me up

2006-01-23T22:28:00.000-08:00

r.i.p. me up.
confusion, delusion, what is real.
define the illusion you've made.
that i might once again live.
live the life i deprived myself.
what more is there to see,
i've blinded myself with insanity.

what now...

i'm broken

2006-01-22T09:30:00.000-08:00

i'm broken but i won't let it show.
how you could have done this to me,
i'll never know.
i feel like i've been torn from limb to limb.
unable to move, it's so numb.
victim of reality, nothing matters more.
it's all gone, it's never coming back...

you've hurt me so bad...

OG Outing

2006-01-15T12:17:00.000-08:00

these are some photos of a few of my OGmates when we went out on hari raya. we went ice skating and a lot of other random things.

this was when were trying to go to town, but ended up going to harbourfront instead. (wrong bus) -.- so, we took the mrt to town instead, after wasting like an hour. haha. we're so brilliant.
from left to right: zhong khoo, sharon, natalie.

jieli and daryl, our 2 scouts, though i can't say much for their sense of direction. especially daryl. LOL. sorry!

MYRON!! OUR ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL OGL.. well, one of the 3 absolutely wonderful ogls of PANDORA anyway. haha. jithra and mae yan couldn't make it, so.. oh well. the ironic part is that jit planned the outing. lol.

this'd be the neoprint that the girls really wanted to take, and so the rest of us had to oblige. haha. clockwise from far left bottom: Jia Ying, Zhong Khoo, Jieli, Daryl, Myron, me, Natalie, Sharon, Ying Wei.

all right, that's all for now. i really love my og. haha. acjc's been real awesome and stuff, i might just stay there. heexz. other missing members include: LYNN, LI MING, MICHELLE, QIAN LEI, REN KIAT, JIN-E, JAESH, SAMANTHA and JEREMY.

In Memory of Kelvin David

2006-01-14T14:24:00.000-08:00

In Memory of Kelvin David.
Went home to the Lord on the 13th of January

Although we went to the same church, we were never really very close nor did we talk to each other often, and it's possibly something i now regret. However, now's not the time for regrets, but a time to remember the encouragements he gave, the feats he accomplished and obstacles he overcame. To remember the kind of person he was, the inspiration and motivation he gave others and what he left behind, everlasting memories.

Suffering from cancer, he still managed to live life to the fullest. Doctors gave him only about a year to live, he lived thrice as long. He refused to sit about and feel sorry for himself. Instead, he went bungee jumping, rock climbing and a lot of other activities i can bet almost all of us have not even thought of attempting.

In church, he would always be smiling and prancing around, talking to people. He was the best drummer there!

Now he's gone, but i can confidently say that he has touched the lives of many, and few of us will actually be able to live a life as fulfilling as his. We will miss him.

Kelvin's wake will be tonight at 8pm at the Garden Of Remembrance.

JJEMKSS part II

2006-01-02T13:18:00.000-08:00

all right, this is a continuation from the previous post where i said blooger was screwing up on me and that i'd post the rest of the photos up next time, well, here they are. yup.

ming and cyn having a sentimental moment in ikea.

a JJEMKSS photo without the MK.. so...that'd be JJESS?? yeh.. i guess so..

mikh and i. yay. i got to wear the big green hat. not my colour, but nice green hat none the less. one of the many things we got kate.

josh, cyn and mikh, and a very very very very very very long escalator at changi airport.

kate, ming and cyn at belt 6, don't they look pretty.

an actual JJEMKSS photo.. the only one of its kind.. for now. til kate gets back.. sigh...

all right. that's all i have for now, next time, i'll post up the hong kong/hainan trip photos... if i feel like it. MUAHAHA.

JJEMKSS

2005-12-29T02:19:00.000-08:00

basically JJEMKSS stands for JIA - BJ, JIA - Cyn, EN - Mikh, MING - Ming, KAI - Kate, SHAO - Josh, SHU - Amy.

these are some of the photos we took while we were at sentosa on monday (boxing day). really wet day, and we had to walk out of sentosa because the queue for the bus was just too long for us to bother with. but it was fun, we played frisbee, sat around and got burnt, exchanged extremely lame ass jokes, especially ezra's. lol.

here is cyn, josh, mikh, kate, bj and ming waiting at the tram stop. i was taking the photo, so i'm not in it.

this one is cyn and her luvlay CARROT. thumper loves carrots, yes she does. haha.

a very very unglam photo of josh that i just HAD TO PUT UP.

humouring mikh with a "RAVEN" shot. the one thing that ruins it is me smiling.

these photos were taken today while we were out shopping at ikea for stuff for kate. really fun, ikea had so many red stuff, and mikh was going ballistic. haha. he was enjoying it. so for his birthday, we're gonna get him pieces of furniture. imagine if everyone bought him chairs. where's he gonna sleep? lol.

this is JJEMKSS without the K. it'd be mikh, bj, cyn, ming, me and josh.

josh and bj, trying to look cool. lol. TRYING. yes.

we found this mirror which had a red frame and was shaped like one of those small hand held mirrors, we just had to take a photo "in" it. came out a bit blurry, but heck really.

i think mikh looks good in this shot.

blogger's screwing up on me and refuses to let me upload anymore photos, so i'll try again tomorrow. that's all for now. SIGH, i miss kate. why why why...

KATE'S GONE!!

2005-12-28T08:26:00.000-08:00

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NNNNOOOOOOO.. I'M STILL DENYING IT. KATE'S NOT GONE, SHE'S JUST GONE FOR A REALLY LONG LONG LONG LONG HOLIDAY... well, this sucks seriously. sigh.. she just HAD TO LEAVE. damn. i mean, i know she'll be back, but that's not the point. the point is that there's a lot of time from now til then. shit.

i think i should blog.

2005-12-20T20:12:00.000-08:00

ello ello ello. ok, got back from hong kong and hainan not too long ago. was quite fun, but i've been severely traumatised by the toilets in hainan. omg, it's life scarring i tell you! i shall go into detail next time, kinda lazy right now. i shall post some pictures soon too.

lately been going out quite a bit, like with genrong, hamzah, lawrence, dharsh and rachel (my cousin from down under= aussie land for those who still don't get it) i'm almost done with my christmas shopping, just a few more, like justin and my grandparents. yup. i have no idea what to get them. OI, JUSTIN, any suggestions??

it's gonna be a busy busy year for me next year. with 2 tournaments coming up and a trip in the beginning of the year, it's gonna be busy. it'll be quite funny, i go for the first 3 days of school, then i miss the next 2 days. hahaha. dank. going to acjc. justin's going too! and genrong's going vjc. cool stuff

i'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when i'll be back again... ok, actually i do know.

2005-12-05T06:32:00.000-08:00

going away to hong kong on the 7th, then transitting to hainan on the 12th and i'll only be back on the 17th. so no posts until then. JC posting results will be out on the 16th, which means i'll definitely have to bring a laptop with me when i go to hong kong and hainan. dratz. well, bon voyage ya'll.

what a day it's been.

2005-11-29T06:36:00.000-08:00

HA, today was good and bad.

the good part first.
went out to shop at around noon and i met up with pipeboi at orchard mrt. we were walking around aimlessly and trying to help his friend jason find his way to heeren, and i thought my sense of direction was bad. haha. nice guy though.
we went to kino at taka, where i was nicely told not to use my phone camera to irritate pipeboi by the security guard. what a party pooper. but at least the guy asked nicely.
at around 1, i headed back to the mrt station to pass a teeshirt to luqman.and while we waited for him to come, we were approached by I MODELS to be part of their agency. lol. FUNNY SHIT. so the girl asked pipeboi for his number and age and name. and i was vigorously shaking my head at him not to. LOL. so the girl looked pleased with herself at having acquired 2 "victims" unknowing to her was that the numbers of the victims she had just acquired...were..FAKE. TADA. i wouldn't trust an agency that doesn't even have proper name cards for their employees. it just had their name scribbled in very bad handwriting.
and it's also thanks to fart, who had warned me about i models. THANKS DUDE. SO SORRY I COULDN'T MEET YOU TODAY.
then i went off with dharsh to go watch a movie and do a lil shopping! we watched JUST LIKE HEAVEN. IT'S A FRIGGIN NICE SHOW!!! AAAA, reese witherspoon was awesome in the show.

everybody, GO WATCH IT! good stuff.

she bought me an orange sweater from samuel & kevin. it was luvlay! had details down the side in brownish-army green and it was a slightly off the shoulder sweater. real nice! SWEET. ok. then we headed to ZARA to get her a skirt. met up with roy there and then headed to THE MANDARIN ORIENTAL at the other end. and guess what...WE GOT LOST! lol. stupid roy!! hahaha, nah, kidding! it was probably the most fun i've had getting lost. so we finally found our way to the hotel and then i waited for MR. NEO! WHO WAS AN HOUR PLUS LATE!! i was 40 minutes late and he still hadn't arrived. lol. his excuse was that yl was taking forever to put on make up.. and that made me ponder: WHY IS YL WEARING MAKE UP FOR HIS GRAD NIGHT?? -.- trust me, you don't wanna know. so i waited until 7, then i really had to go off for karate and roy's friends had come. so i got a cab and headed off. mr neo called at like 7.15pm to tell me he hadn't even arrived yet.. and we were supposed to meet at 6pm...-.-lll .. oh well. i just really really wanted to see what he was wearing. bother. nvm, told him to take lots of pictures and told roy to make him feel REAL GUILTY ABOUT NOT COMING IN TIME! lol.

so..bad stuff is.. well.. i don't have a best friend anymore. sigh. arguing from 9.20pm to 2am is like.. the shittiest thing to do. i don't think we're ever gonna be friends again. i mean, the stuff he said, the stuff i said, it's really.. the end. well, at least that's the way i feel. i don't know what to say, don't know what to do. i just wanted to please him, make him happy. i mean, best friends are supposed to be there for each other no matter what, no matter how stupid one can be. i really appreciate the times he's been there for me, like when i had family problems, when i had breakups, when i felt like everything was a mess, he was there for me.
but telling me who i can or cannot hang out with is just plain uncool. how can you tell me i'm a bad christian? and how can you say you're not a bad christian even though you've gotten stinking drunk, you go clubbing even though you're not 18 and you encourage me to go clubbing? you diss people, you tell me this person is bad, that person is weird, and is that really what a good christian is all about? or a better one at that? being a better christian doesn't make you a good one.
sigh. i mean, i called you to ask you if you wanted to meet me today to hang out, but instead you sounded all impatient with me just cos you were in the gym. is it uncool to talk to your best friend while you're lifting weights? and what was the result of that call? a friggin argument on "why i keep 'hurting' myself" and that i "find love in all the wrong places" that lasted close to 5 hours. i apologised! against what others said, i made the initiative to APOLOGISE. something you've never been capable of doing. all i got back in reply was an sms starting the whole argument again!! WE WERE BACK TO SQUARE ONE! you even told me you wouldn't be there for me anymore. you said it's my life and good luck to me. well, thanks, but i don't need your "luck". i've got plenty, and i've other friends (whom you deem weird and uncool) who seem a lot nicer at this point in time. at least they stuck around. don't tell me you're sorry for bothering to care about me. save your breath. you tell me you've been hurt only once before? c'mon, YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HURT, NOTHING.

it's your call. i won't go apologising this time. i've said sorry enough for a lifetime.

let me count the ways...

2005-11-24T13:19:00.000-08:00

all right, i noticed i haven't been updating at all, and it's about time i did. so before i begin, here's a quick shoutout to a few people:

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY RYAN PUTRA!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY YU-BENG! THE BIG 4-0!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RACHEL CHIAM!

okok, now let's see...

last week saturday, i went out with genrong to watch harry potter, ohohohoh, CEDRIC DIGGORY IS HOT. well, kinda, i like his floppy hair. haha, but i think RON WEASLEY IS DA HOTTEST..WHHEEEE, "bloody hell!" lol, i absolutely adore Rupert Grint. so anyway, we watched the show and then he dropped me off at the club where i went to buy milkshakes and granitas for my siblings who were there.

on tuesday, genrong, justin and i went shopping for justin's grad night clothes, was real fun, though tiring and i think justin and genrong have developed a phobia for shopping. LOL. justin bought a brown tee which had designs down the left side and white hems from 77th street, a pair of grey cargo pants and a black fitting jacket from some ulu shops in far east and a pair of white and black shoes from world of sports at PS. it looked pretty darn good if i dare say so myself. oh oh, STUPID FADHLI THOU FARTETH!! you were supposed to come shopping with us. .POOEY. oh well, next time. and HAMZAH, YOU YOU YOU YOU...YOU PIPE! you didn't pick up your phone! serve you right, didn't get to eat gelato with us. muahahaha.. next time, next time.

oh yes, and hamiieee, you pipe, cheer up yeh? she's not worth your time, effort or whatever mushy stuff. aight? you'll get over it, :D , if you don't, i'll get mee pok man and lil girly marcus to go kick you over that 37m bar. lol. ouch. CRASH. as always, cheer up brudder, go pk. PLEASE REFRAIN FROM SPRAINING ANY MORE WRISTS OR ANKLES, you still have to drum. hah. and now you know why i say no to girls in the band. well.. cheer up!!! yes, i'll write more scary songs. hehehehe.. 1am. scary time.

friggin' anti-climatic.

2005-11-18T19:42:00.000-08:00

oh fuck. it's been a friggin anti-climatic day. woke up with a really bad headache, felt like puking. it's the kind of giddiness you have when you're cararfah came over after history to study for chem and she started taking photos of my christmas tree and all the star ornaments on it. and yes, Os are finally over, arfah's gone out to meet her babe, pot - kate - cyn - candy etc have gone for dinner, justin and fart have gone shopping, and every other tom, dick and harry has gone out to celebrate and where am i? ...........at home. yay me. i don't even know where genrong is! he's probably out celebrating with friends. he didn't even call, oh well, nvm that. i won't whine.

i had to come home cos my mum had invited my cousin, declan, over for dinner. and i told her about me being invited to eat dinner and all with pot and kate like everyday since wednesday, and what did she say? NO, IT'S TOO LATE IN THE EVENING. and now she claims i never told her and she's pms-ing saying that she feels guilty that i didn't get to go out and celebrate... WELL, ELLLOOOO.. ()&^*&%&^#%^*&)&&*(%^$^$%&$(*+)(&.. irritating.. so, originally, i didn't feel so bad about not going out, BUT NOW I FEEL LIKE SHIT. all cos she kept screaming, and when you got a bloody headache that's been on since you woke up, that aint exactly the nicest thing. ok, exams are over, pretty good if i dare say so myself. but i'm probably in the worst of moods right now. mum just told me to go out, i'm like: NOW? BY THE TIME I GET TO TOWN IT'LL BE LIKE TIME TO GO HOME! and she told me to go out tmr, but if everyone's gone out today, i don't think anyone will wanna go out tmr, and it's really way too last minute, everyone's out now, difficult to contact them. and guess what she said.. MSN THEM! .... -.- ...mum, if you hadn't quite realised yet, THEY'RE ALL OUT, NO ONE IS ONLINE TO MSN!!! omfg. -.-

i'm not really angry with my parents, i'm just irritated that sometimes they just don't seem to listen to me. they're always busy doing something or other and i'm not neglected, but sometimes i wish they'd stop trying to get into an arguement with me 24-7 and actually listen. sigh.

my dad just called from tokyo, he's on a business trip. he told me to go out. i told him the same thing i told my mum. EELLLO, IT'S 7.24PM ALREADY. and my cousin's late for dinner, so here i am starving and typing this while i wait for him to get his sorry ass here. goody.

peng kun says i'm ignoring her and that she won't speak to me unless i speak to her. omfg. how childish can this get. i'm not going to waste my bloody time on someone who won't call me even when i'm sick to the core and i don't appear in school for days. don't come near me since you feel i'm too dumbass to get myself anywhere. sure, you got 9 points for prelims and i got 14, WE'RE STILL FRIGGIN GOING TO ACJC, aw hell, it means i gotta see you there. lucky me. some best friend you were all those years. ah, i'm not even gonna start. wasted one whole post on you a couple o' months back.

ok, i'm just friggin bored out of my wits. so bored, i've even resorted to looking through my chem textbook again. i'm desperate for entertainment. maybe i'll call hamzah... then again, i'm afraid he'll be out with melissa (his gf who hates me for reasons unknown to either of us) and then she'll pick up the phone like the last time. we were so done for, i swear, he's lucky he still has his head. next time that happens, i'm gonna start blabbering in japanese. LOL. it's not even raining. anit-climatic, anti-climatic and oh so anti-climatic.

ok, left the comp for a while to fetch my cousin from the bus stop. i shall sign off here and continue my bitching to any poor soul who might fall prey to my idioticness. cheers everyone.

albums i wanna purchase the moment exams are over.

2005-11-12T22:39:00.000-08:00

these are just some of the many albums i wanna purchase. i'd name them all (cos i wanna recommend them to anyone reading this) but...i can't recall half of them LOL. yes, my memory is THAT BAD nowadays. i think it's too saturated by chem facts, history facts, amath formulas and wondering how to complete a painting in 3 hours. madness. anyhow, these are just some of those i can actually remember.

NUMBER 1:
A TIME TO LOVE - STEVIE WONDER
(i absolutely adore stevie wonder. fell in love with him after i heard sharon playing one of his albums "The Definitive Collection" at her place a long time back. with songs like Overjoyed, Do I Do, My Cherie Amour, As, Superstitious, Sir Duke, For Your Love and the latest song What The Fuss, HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THIS GUY.)

NUMBER 2:
ROCK SWINGS - PAUL ANKA
(turning rock songs by the likes of Nirvana into swing numbers requires a helluva lot of skill and this guy here, has it.)

NUMBER 3:
DANIEL POWTER - DANIEL POWTER
(his songs like Bad Day and Jimmy Got High are addictive, his voice is awesome and his piano skills are superb, what more can i say.)

NUMBER 4:
CHARIOT - GAVIN DEGRAW
(with a successful song like Chariot in the album, the rest is probably as good.)

NUMBER 5:
MONKEY BUSINESS - BLACK EYED PEAS
(even though they are slightly overrated, you still have to admit, it's a pretty darn good album with Don't Lie.)

NUMBER 6:
LATE REGISTRATION - KANYE WEST
(a better album than the first, i feel anyway, just don't buy it if you can't stand vulgarities. although the first album had songs like Jesus Walks and Through The Wire which i loved, i felt his second album with hits like Gold Digga and Diamonds was even better.)

all right, that's all for now. til next time.

i was having fun on my extremely lousy photoshop.

2005-11-12T00:28:00.000-08:00

after emath today, had lunch with shereen and hui kee, and then i rushed off for four hours of amath tuition. so once i got home, i wasn't in any mood to study and right now, not really wanting to type too much, so i shall post what i've been doing for the last hour. fun crap. lol.

my photoshop crap (stuff i edited, redid, blah blah blah):

POT WILL LOVE THIS!! BILLIE JOE!! hehehehehhe.

HOT GUY. POT WILL LOVE LOVE TOO.

ah, HAMZAH!! this one for us manz. it's for the "TOP SECRET PROJECT" that i just mentioned on my blog that everyone will see. HAWHAWHAW. anyway, you know what i mean. it's like IN YOUR FACE. after Os mun.

and this one's of me that SO DID NOT COME OUT THE WAY I WANTED IT TO. so i'm gonna make it small small.

ok, enough of my photoshop crap, HEHEHEHEHEHE.. THIS PART I LOVE LOVE! I TOTALLY COMPLETELY LOVE HIM. HAHA. ok, i'll stop sounding like a lunatic. most of you should know who i'm talking about, it's kinda yesterday's news, and if you don't know who am i talking about.. DUDE, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?? anyway....

when they won CHMA, sorry i kinda cut off yl's ear. lol.

I LOVE LOVE HIM! <3

that's all for now. one more week til the end of Os, hang in everyone!

i've been tagged.

2005-11-07T23:57:00.000-08:00

"Rules of the game: Post 5 Weird and Random facts about yourself, then at the end list the names of 5 people who are next in line to do this. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "You are tagged" in their xanga or blog and tell them to read yours."

OK.. SO I'VE BEEN TAGGED. by.. POT!!! bother. it's 11.35pm, i'm feeling cranky, but since POT tagged me, i shall OBLIGE. see.. i'm so nice. lol. mm.

5 Weird and Random facts about myself:

1. i like to eat fresh grapes with barbeque sauce just to freak people out. (it works on kate!!)

2. i'm a damn moley person, i've got approximately 36 moles on myself. (yes, i actually counted and i know some people just love drawing mole smileys on my arms. -.-)

3. i hate it when i dress up and go out and people with no fashion sense (seriously, they look like they just came out of a porn manga) rudely comment on it. i'll just KILL THEM.

4. i have doremishitphobia, if i hear bad music, i'll ANNIHILATE THE MUSICIANS..

5. i hate banging my chin against pot's shoulder. she's got a damn hard shoulder. like OW.

yay yay yay, now i get to sabo 5 people.. hehehehe.. drum roll please...

1. JUSTIN
2. SEAN
3. FART!
4. JOCELYN
5. GENRONG!! <3
.. but honestly, he hasn't got his own personal blog.. so technically he can't do it, but really, i can't think of anyone else.. so OH WELL. the rest are good. haha.

i shall blog another time about my day and stuff when i'm freer, which would be after the bio paper on thursday.. how i am dreading it. then again, once it's over, i'll be ecstatic. HEHE.